Society. A major part in the lives of people today. Consisting of thousands of ideals and standards which have been created over time. These ideals sectioning of certain people into relevant groups. Issues which are very current being focused on. Society, of course, works hand in hand with the Internet, to get across these ideals, to further brainwash people with them.
It's always seemed rather odd to me how suddenly new thoughts can be forced upon us, dramatically changing how we perceive people, places and life as a whole. Sometimes there is no reasoning for these thoughts but we are told to shut up and just go along with them because it's easier than making a stand. Being taught from early on to just fit in, it's no wonder people have decided to accept how things are.
And this is ok. If there is no visible issue for you personally, why would you want to make a scene about it? Why bother causing a fuss when you can simply go about your daily life with no issues or problems, no change or difference? Fitting in is always nice, better to blend in with the crowd than be the one who stand out.
I think that people fear how they are perceived. They worry that they don't fit into what people class as 'normal'. But standing out comes in many forms. To have a different view doesn't need a huge gesture. You don't have to voice your thoughts in order to have them. The downfall of socety lies there, where people think you have to speak to have views.
There are many causes I support, many movements I am strongly in favour of. I don't know its down to my respect for others or my shyness when it comes to actually talking to people but I don't exactly voice my opinions very much. I have many, many views on things that the majority of people don't seem to have or at least have knowledge on. I guess the fact I don't voice what I think says something about the way soceity has influenced me to not be the odd one out. But the difference is, I have different opinions to what is considered the norm, even if I'm not saying it.
As I said before, it's fine if people are able to sit back, consume media and not have doubts or questions. It's fine if they have opinions which fit with that of 'regular' people. Obviously, each person has their own reasoning for what they think and why. But the minority also need to be considered. The small proportion of people who want to make a change.
I say change but obviously this comes in many different degrees. Some people want to make a big change. I for one would love to make a difference. I have lots of hopes and dreams about what an ideal world would be. Of course it will never be quite like I wish but it's worth a try.
People approach the idea of making a change in different ways. For a introvert such as myself, I prefer to voice my thoughts online, either by blogging or tweeting. Maybe one day I will have the confidence, experience and desire to speak more publicly about my views but for now I'm content with talking about things under my online identity.
The idea that people with different opinions to that of the norm is that they ram them down your throat, forcing you to listen to them is utter trash. It's simply not true. Take vegans as an example. Sure you get those who strongly believe that everyone should convert and desperately try again to get their point across, bombarding everyone with information. However, you also, and it's so important to understand this, get those who have thoughts, maybe weaker thoughts (but still thoughts) and don't try to make such a rapid change.
Personally, the major (and if you know me you will probably know this, especially if you follow me on Twitter) issue is inequality. I don't mean personally as in it is the issue that affects me most out of anything, because, although it plays a huge impact in my life, that is not the case. I mean in terms of what I try to voice opinions and get knowledge across about most.
There's the key point. With the Internet, sure it's easier to set up events to help out these causes but it's also easier to inform one a large scale. Many issues and causes out there need the informative side rather than the physically action side of things. People are much more likely to react and change if they are slowly informed by their own choice rather this being forced to feel a certain way.
It's the reason why people are factual when others disagree with their thoughts. Because it's more effective to give reason why to feel a certain way than to simple say that another opinion is just wrong.
I don't think people understand how important the Internet really is for imforming people of issues. People will say how 'one person tweeting about the wage gap won't stop inequality' and that's true. But this is missing the point. Yes, putting a stop to inequality would be great in an ideal world but the reality is, this is the real world, not the ideal world. Inequality will always exists, it would be silly to think otherwise but people don't understand we aren't trying to stop it. Like I said, yes it would be ideal but it's not realistic.
The point of sharing opinions on these sorts of things is to inform. That's what people need. While we are still functioning with our own thoughts we are able to change them due to what we see and hear. If we gather enough information our brains will register that certain behviours are wrong. And, on a wider scale, knowledge will cause a slow adapting change to how we view things. Bit by bit, our small gestures can change to mould of societies ideals.
--- Aimee ---
Wednesday 30 September 2015
Sunday 20 September 2015
Fighting Rapid Change
Changes occur is almost every aspect of life as we age. Day to day, year to year. The whole world is changing around us. But there's one change which has impacted the world massively. A change which has erupted over the past years. The changing of technology.
I guess it's a common thing for adults to dwell over. How things have moved so fast in such little time but I really think it's sad to see. It seems so weird to me that, at the age of 5 I was watching videos, playing with toys and listening to cassettes and nowadays, 5 year olds are using iPads, playing video games and watching YouTube. It sounds so pathetic, but things are changing so quickly and I'm not overly sure I like it that much.
Phones are another thing. I think I was 11 when I first got a phone. It was some crappy Vodafone flip phone but, at the time, it was all I needed. I was 11, all I needed it for was to ring people or occasionally text them. I was a child, too busy off playing in the park with my friends to need anything better. Saying that, there probably wasn't the option to have a better phone at the time. Smartphones weren't really in.
And I look at people now, some only two years younger than me. I see how different they are to how I was at that age. It scares me, it really does. How can technology change that much in a few years? It's all moving at such a fast rate, but why? And more importantly, when will it stop?
I don't know whether it's the fear or the nostalgia in me but I don't like it. Sure, you could argue that 'if you don't like modern technology then why do have social network accounts?' But I think it's all about social acceptance. Yes I know some people who haven't got a things like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram but, typically, they are people seen as the 'social outcasts'. Sometimes we don't do things for ourselves but to secure the acceptance of others in society. And also, despite what I say or anyone says for that matter, things aren't going to revert back to how they were.
No matter how much I long to still be in the days of videos, cassettes and flip phones, it will never happen. People see change as advancements, wanting to get the newest thing, to be trendy. But what as wrong in the past? Ok, I agree that technology is a wonderful thing. How you can talk to someone on the other side of the world instantly, how you can get in touch with old friends with a few searches. It's all amazing.
I guess my generation are the only ones who say that. Any older tend to believe it's all bad, too modern and any younger don't know any different. In many ways, That's what I'm thankful for. That, yes maybe technology is changing rapidly but at least I've known different. Don't get me wrong, I love some aspects of technology and they make some tasks so much easier to do but I don't really think that's its all necessary.
But there's so many negatives, with children especially. They are loosing a childhood. Technology may be changing at such a rate that it will be different by the time they reach the age of 10 but it will still be there. With global warming how it is, and rapid industrialisation due to forever gorwing populations, why are we not enjoying the outdoors while we still can?
In some ways, maybe it's just the newest addiction. Other generations had their addictions that would keep them occupied too. But, at the same time, it's taking over. At least in the past, the trends have been less powerful and controlling. With technology and social media it's completely different.
I realise how much this posts makes me sound like an old woman but I guess I'm torn. Tor pm between wanting to fit in and wanting to be my own person, between accepting the change and fighting back against it.
Books is another aspect which gets me. In my media class at school, it is commented on frequently how things are changing. My teacher picked up the modernisation of books the other day. He said, and I quote "why would anyone want to have books when we can own hundreds on a single kindle which we can take anywhere and read". This hurt me. I really don't know what it is about books that I love so much but I just do. There's something about owning books which I love. I guess it's one of the ways I'm desperately trying to cling to the past, trying not to give in to the pressures of technological change.
Over the summer I was in town a fair bit and one day I was waiting for a friend so I had some time to kill. I had my book of the time with me so I sat on a bench and read. The amount of looks I got of strangers was surreal. People looked at me as if I was mad or doing something I shouldn't. It's adults which are most against all these changes but it's also them who get weirded out when you aren't giving in to the changes.
I'm going to keep living in my own world. A world where I can read books and watch videos without being questioned. Where I can use aspects of old and new together while trying avoid getting sucked in to the bottomless void that technology is engulfing us with. I really hope that it slows down soon. I hope that it becomes socially acceptable not to move with the times. But, most of all, I hope someone, someday realises how robotic technology is making us and has the urge to question how we let this happen.
--- Aimee ---
I guess it's a common thing for adults to dwell over. How things have moved so fast in such little time but I really think it's sad to see. It seems so weird to me that, at the age of 5 I was watching videos, playing with toys and listening to cassettes and nowadays, 5 year olds are using iPads, playing video games and watching YouTube. It sounds so pathetic, but things are changing so quickly and I'm not overly sure I like it that much.
Phones are another thing. I think I was 11 when I first got a phone. It was some crappy Vodafone flip phone but, at the time, it was all I needed. I was 11, all I needed it for was to ring people or occasionally text them. I was a child, too busy off playing in the park with my friends to need anything better. Saying that, there probably wasn't the option to have a better phone at the time. Smartphones weren't really in.
And I look at people now, some only two years younger than me. I see how different they are to how I was at that age. It scares me, it really does. How can technology change that much in a few years? It's all moving at such a fast rate, but why? And more importantly, when will it stop?
I don't know whether it's the fear or the nostalgia in me but I don't like it. Sure, you could argue that 'if you don't like modern technology then why do have social network accounts?' But I think it's all about social acceptance. Yes I know some people who haven't got a things like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram but, typically, they are people seen as the 'social outcasts'. Sometimes we don't do things for ourselves but to secure the acceptance of others in society. And also, despite what I say or anyone says for that matter, things aren't going to revert back to how they were.
No matter how much I long to still be in the days of videos, cassettes and flip phones, it will never happen. People see change as advancements, wanting to get the newest thing, to be trendy. But what as wrong in the past? Ok, I agree that technology is a wonderful thing. How you can talk to someone on the other side of the world instantly, how you can get in touch with old friends with a few searches. It's all amazing.
I guess my generation are the only ones who say that. Any older tend to believe it's all bad, too modern and any younger don't know any different. In many ways, That's what I'm thankful for. That, yes maybe technology is changing rapidly but at least I've known different. Don't get me wrong, I love some aspects of technology and they make some tasks so much easier to do but I don't really think that's its all necessary.
But there's so many negatives, with children especially. They are loosing a childhood. Technology may be changing at such a rate that it will be different by the time they reach the age of 10 but it will still be there. With global warming how it is, and rapid industrialisation due to forever gorwing populations, why are we not enjoying the outdoors while we still can?
In some ways, maybe it's just the newest addiction. Other generations had their addictions that would keep them occupied too. But, at the same time, it's taking over. At least in the past, the trends have been less powerful and controlling. With technology and social media it's completely different.
I realise how much this posts makes me sound like an old woman but I guess I'm torn. Tor pm between wanting to fit in and wanting to be my own person, between accepting the change and fighting back against it.
Books is another aspect which gets me. In my media class at school, it is commented on frequently how things are changing. My teacher picked up the modernisation of books the other day. He said, and I quote "why would anyone want to have books when we can own hundreds on a single kindle which we can take anywhere and read". This hurt me. I really don't know what it is about books that I love so much but I just do. There's something about owning books which I love. I guess it's one of the ways I'm desperately trying to cling to the past, trying not to give in to the pressures of technological change.
Over the summer I was in town a fair bit and one day I was waiting for a friend so I had some time to kill. I had my book of the time with me so I sat on a bench and read. The amount of looks I got of strangers was surreal. People looked at me as if I was mad or doing something I shouldn't. It's adults which are most against all these changes but it's also them who get weirded out when you aren't giving in to the changes.
I'm going to keep living in my own world. A world where I can read books and watch videos without being questioned. Where I can use aspects of old and new together while trying avoid getting sucked in to the bottomless void that technology is engulfing us with. I really hope that it slows down soon. I hope that it becomes socially acceptable not to move with the times. But, most of all, I hope someone, someday realises how robotic technology is making us and has the urge to question how we let this happen.
--- Aimee ---
Wednesday 9 September 2015
My Rock
Three months ago, when I had just decided that I would set up a blog, I began a small book on topics I would like to cover. I'm not ashamsed to admit that I have barely written about the topics which first came to my mind and I probably wouldn't be able to list more than three topics on it. However, I do know that when I asked my friend, Nicole to write down any topics I should cover she simply wrote "Nicole". I will say that my imidate thought was 'why couldn't she have written something I could actually write about' but I've realised that she did write something I can actually write about. I could write about my love and appreciation for my dear friend Nicole.
Fast forward to the begining of this summer. I personally wasn't in a good place. I was feeling shit on a regular basis, exams were causing me to have several breakdowns a week, my 'friends' thought it would be acceptable to point out my flaws to me. Needless to say, it wasn't the best time. Somehow (and I honestly can't remember either how, when or why) I started getting closer to Nicole.
We would talk more about all the drama that was going on. I'd plan to meet her before and after exams. We'd get together to gossip about people and life in general. At the very beginning of the summer holidays, we spent two weeks straight (give or take a couple of days) meeting up, going to town, having sleepovers.
Having left pretty much all of my friends, we ended up going to prom together and she made it such an enjoyable night. And yes I guess I'm almost over the fact she ditched me whilst actually at prom. She is such an incredible and person and quite possibly the best person to spend time with. The type of person you can be completely yourself around.
I'm not quite sure I will ever believe that I have ever done anything good enough to have such an incredible best friend. She's one of the very few people I have ever been able to tell anything to. Not only can I talk to her about whatever but I can also talk to her whenever. I guess the relationship we have is the typical 'best friends' scenario but I honestly adore our friendship.
As much as I am trying to, I could never even come close to explaining what she means to me. I'm not kidding in the slightest when I say that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. And by that I don't mean at sixth form or with the friends I have, I mean here, on Earth. She has been my rock and I love her so much for it. It makes me so emotional when I think about, near the beginning of summer, when I was such a wreck. All I wanted to do was cry and just give up. Nicole being the absolute angel she is let me stay at hers and it cheered me up more than I ever though it would.
When I have days that I feel like utter crap she is there. Only ever a FaceTime, Snapchat or phone call away. I can't explain well enough how important it is to have someone like that in your life. She makes me laugh on a daily basis and keeps me strong. I know that she is not afraid to tell me when I'm being an idiot because sometimes it's what I need to hear.
Nicole is literally the most outstanding friend anyone could ever wish for. Yes we are mean to eachother about 100 times a day but it makes me so happy that I am that comfortable around her. It wasn't until I was describing her to a friend that I realised how I talk about her. Honestly, I'm not the nicest friend, all I ever do is tell her she is a dick and an idiot and just plain embarrassing. This being the case, I have fairly good reasoning for being so harsh to her.
The only way I know how to be 'a good friend' to people is through words and truth is, she won't ever accept my compliments. We've had a insulting-based relationship for so long she accuses me of wanting something if I'm nice to her. I'll tell her how gorgeous she looks and I'll be told off for being so soppy. If I send her a cute and supportive message she'll tell me how it makes her feel sick.
But it really doesn't matter how many compliments I give her because I could never repay her for how grateful I am to have her. She really is a fantastic person. I'm not afraid to say she's an absolute idiot. She does and says the stupidest things but, in all honesty, it makes my day. Without even trying she can make me laugh. She keeps me strong and happy.
Words cannot express how beautiful she is. She doesn't even have to try. Sure, she'll send me then ugliest snapchats possible, but she's still as gorgeous as ever. Everything about her is truly incredible. The bond we have is something I never, ever want to loose.
Now I know she may not believe it but she means the absolute world to me and I owe her so much. She has really been my shoulder to lean on when I've needed it, my person to turn to when I need advice. No amount of blog posts, letters or texts would ever do her justice.
She has literally changed my life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her and, although there are days when I hate this entire crappy world and the people in it, I'm glad of that. Her smile lights up my world everyday and I am so extremely thankful to have her in my life. She really is the perfect bestfriend. I love her with all my heart and always will do.
--- Aimee ---
Sunday 6 September 2015
The Insecure Generation
Social networking. A way to instantly contact others. Quick communication, quick sharing. A real development in modern day society, correct? I guess you'd have to be quite shallow not to recognise the issues and problems which come with such commuication.
As a generation, we've been taught from very early on to be careful on social netoworks. "Don't give away personal details." "Don't talk to strangers." But, to be honest, are these the real issues we should be focused on? In my experience, there are far, far, far more issues due to things which are not addressed by enough people, especially the media.
With social networks such as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, looks are heavily looked at in this generation. You will always be judged on looks. People will tell you that "looks aren't everything" but this is bullshit. I'm not saying that this should be the case in any way, of course it shouldn't. It's totally wrong and creates such snap judgments of people which are hard to turn back on.
But, with such interactive and public networking, the bigger issue is far more relevant than just "staying safe." No, the issue at hand is self-love, or, as usually is the case, the opposite in fact, insecurity. In our generation, it is especially important issue to address and is so extremely relevant.
Teenagers of today have to deal with so much on a daily basis. So much stress. But, no longer is the stress all achievment based as there is so much stress in how you look. I say this as the main source of insecurity is appearance and it is also the main form which the media target (in complete the wrong way.) Of course it would be arrogant to pretend there isn't more reasons for insecurity. Reasoning such as grades, expectations and work levels.
I am aware that I have addressed the issues of both body positivity and society's expectations in the past. But insecurity isn't all about your body. Yes, it plays a major role but it's the expectations of insecure people that gets me. For example, if someone says they hate their body and then post an image of their body, it's called attention seeking? Shouldn't, instead of calling someone out for wanting attention, we be praising that they are struggling to come to terms with how they are despite what they feel deep down?
I personally have had many issues with insecurities. As I always am aware, I'm not the worst in the world. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to attention seek, just simply stating facts. Saying that, I think anyone would find it rather hard to blog about a topic which they had no experience with at all. As well as being aware that I could be worse, I also know it's actuall, sadly, fairly common in today's society.
I have never been the skinniest. I have never been the prettiest. Never the smartest. At this exact moment in time, it doesn't bother me, I'm happy. My god have I been through hell and back to reach the point where I can say that. But it really is a struggle for most people to actual accept themselves. What others need to learn is that everyone has their own way of dealing with such issues. Some people indulge into using makeup. Others into a new hairstyle. Or perhaps a certain clothing style. So what? If it makes them feel comfortable let them do it!
We try so hard nowadays to get everyone's approval but the fact of life is there will always be people who disagree, no matter how hard you try. A personal favourite celebrity of mine is the wonderful goddess Jennifer Aniston. If you are not already aware, she was photographed out on a run the other day following arriving back from her honeymoon. The article sparked uproar as she was described as "looking more rounded than usual" and accused of "relaxing" her diet. It shocks me that someone could make such judgments on such a thing. Due to her being a celebrity, people are even more concerned about her looking good. But why? Yes, clearly due to all of her achievements and numerous films, she must be a shit actress, so her looks really are all she has.
The only thing worse than articles/statements going against self-love and acceptance is ignoring that there is a problem to begin with. So many teens, especially girls turn to things such as self-harm as a way to cope with not being good enough. No one on earth can try to convince me that that is ok. Sure the media can tell us figures and how sad the reality of it all is but who should feel sympathetic due to this knowledge. How can the media tell us how upsetting it is when they are the ones who are also telling us we are not good enough?
Moving away from the appearance side of this issue there are issues involving many other aspect of who we are. Personality, characteristics, opinion. In many ways these are far worse insecurities. Personally, I'm insecure about many of my thoughts. My opinions on topics such as feminism make me insecure. It sounds stupid, pathetic but how am I supposed to voice my opinions on such matters when I know the reaction I will get will be "well that's the way things are." My opinions won't be acknowledged, just shot down because it's easier to deny that there's a way to fix it than accept that it needs to be fixed.
Due to the very vaired levels of insecurity, it makes it hard for people to understand the achievment of something so little. For instance, two girls each post a picture of themselves in a bikini due to them liking the picture and feeling confident about it. Girl number one does this often, she often goes on runs, works on her body and is proud to show it off. She knows she will be accepted and congratulated on how she looks. Now, girl number two. She has suffered from a lot in the past, she has scars on her arms and legs from self-harm. She's never felt confident about herself but she's learning to accept it. She's proud also, but this girl is proud of her strength, of her courage. Of course to girl number one, the actions of girl number two is nothing incredible, nothing courageous. Moral? You have to understand the person themselves before you judge their actions or how brave they are.
Insecurity will not be fixed overnight, I know that. There will always be pictures posted of others which make you wish you looked different. But I promise you, no matter who you are, you are beautiful, you are incredible, you are remarkable. Not everyone is lucky enough to love themselves and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we may never reach that point. I guess the best we can do is find people who love us as we are and hope that one day we understand how right they are to do so.
By all means love yourself the way you are but, if I ask you for one thing, it's please don't, ever, knock someone else down as a way to bring yourself up. We each have our own definition of beauty and its ok if someone doesn't meet yours but please keep that to yourself. Don't upset others with your opinions because it only adds to the problem.
In a world where so many things are already against us, the least we can do is try to help, encourage and support each other. Don't ever believe that there is anyone out there who has no reason to be insecure. Being accepted by others is not the same as being accepted by yourself, understand that, please. If you want someone to love themselves, give them reasons why. Explain your reasons constantly. Tell them why you love them. Not everyone sees things the way you do so they may not agree but if you tell someone why they are so amazing enough times, there is a slight hope that they will, someday, believe you.
--- Aimee ---
As a generation, we've been taught from very early on to be careful on social netoworks. "Don't give away personal details." "Don't talk to strangers." But, to be honest, are these the real issues we should be focused on? In my experience, there are far, far, far more issues due to things which are not addressed by enough people, especially the media.
With social networks such as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, looks are heavily looked at in this generation. You will always be judged on looks. People will tell you that "looks aren't everything" but this is bullshit. I'm not saying that this should be the case in any way, of course it shouldn't. It's totally wrong and creates such snap judgments of people which are hard to turn back on.
But, with such interactive and public networking, the bigger issue is far more relevant than just "staying safe." No, the issue at hand is self-love, or, as usually is the case, the opposite in fact, insecurity. In our generation, it is especially important issue to address and is so extremely relevant.
Teenagers of today have to deal with so much on a daily basis. So much stress. But, no longer is the stress all achievment based as there is so much stress in how you look. I say this as the main source of insecurity is appearance and it is also the main form which the media target (in complete the wrong way.) Of course it would be arrogant to pretend there isn't more reasons for insecurity. Reasoning such as grades, expectations and work levels.
I am aware that I have addressed the issues of both body positivity and society's expectations in the past. But insecurity isn't all about your body. Yes, it plays a major role but it's the expectations of insecure people that gets me. For example, if someone says they hate their body and then post an image of their body, it's called attention seeking? Shouldn't, instead of calling someone out for wanting attention, we be praising that they are struggling to come to terms with how they are despite what they feel deep down?
I personally have had many issues with insecurities. As I always am aware, I'm not the worst in the world. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to attention seek, just simply stating facts. Saying that, I think anyone would find it rather hard to blog about a topic which they had no experience with at all. As well as being aware that I could be worse, I also know it's actuall, sadly, fairly common in today's society.
I have never been the skinniest. I have never been the prettiest. Never the smartest. At this exact moment in time, it doesn't bother me, I'm happy. My god have I been through hell and back to reach the point where I can say that. But it really is a struggle for most people to actual accept themselves. What others need to learn is that everyone has their own way of dealing with such issues. Some people indulge into using makeup. Others into a new hairstyle. Or perhaps a certain clothing style. So what? If it makes them feel comfortable let them do it!
We try so hard nowadays to get everyone's approval but the fact of life is there will always be people who disagree, no matter how hard you try. A personal favourite celebrity of mine is the wonderful goddess Jennifer Aniston. If you are not already aware, she was photographed out on a run the other day following arriving back from her honeymoon. The article sparked uproar as she was described as "looking more rounded than usual" and accused of "relaxing" her diet. It shocks me that someone could make such judgments on such a thing. Due to her being a celebrity, people are even more concerned about her looking good. But why? Yes, clearly due to all of her achievements and numerous films, she must be a shit actress, so her looks really are all she has.
The only thing worse than articles/statements going against self-love and acceptance is ignoring that there is a problem to begin with. So many teens, especially girls turn to things such as self-harm as a way to cope with not being good enough. No one on earth can try to convince me that that is ok. Sure the media can tell us figures and how sad the reality of it all is but who should feel sympathetic due to this knowledge. How can the media tell us how upsetting it is when they are the ones who are also telling us we are not good enough?
Moving away from the appearance side of this issue there are issues involving many other aspect of who we are. Personality, characteristics, opinion. In many ways these are far worse insecurities. Personally, I'm insecure about many of my thoughts. My opinions on topics such as feminism make me insecure. It sounds stupid, pathetic but how am I supposed to voice my opinions on such matters when I know the reaction I will get will be "well that's the way things are." My opinions won't be acknowledged, just shot down because it's easier to deny that there's a way to fix it than accept that it needs to be fixed.
Due to the very vaired levels of insecurity, it makes it hard for people to understand the achievment of something so little. For instance, two girls each post a picture of themselves in a bikini due to them liking the picture and feeling confident about it. Girl number one does this often, she often goes on runs, works on her body and is proud to show it off. She knows she will be accepted and congratulated on how she looks. Now, girl number two. She has suffered from a lot in the past, she has scars on her arms and legs from self-harm. She's never felt confident about herself but she's learning to accept it. She's proud also, but this girl is proud of her strength, of her courage. Of course to girl number one, the actions of girl number two is nothing incredible, nothing courageous. Moral? You have to understand the person themselves before you judge their actions or how brave they are.
Insecurity will not be fixed overnight, I know that. There will always be pictures posted of others which make you wish you looked different. But I promise you, no matter who you are, you are beautiful, you are incredible, you are remarkable. Not everyone is lucky enough to love themselves and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we may never reach that point. I guess the best we can do is find people who love us as we are and hope that one day we understand how right they are to do so.
By all means love yourself the way you are but, if I ask you for one thing, it's please don't, ever, knock someone else down as a way to bring yourself up. We each have our own definition of beauty and its ok if someone doesn't meet yours but please keep that to yourself. Don't upset others with your opinions because it only adds to the problem.
In a world where so many things are already against us, the least we can do is try to help, encourage and support each other. Don't ever believe that there is anyone out there who has no reason to be insecure. Being accepted by others is not the same as being accepted by yourself, understand that, please. If you want someone to love themselves, give them reasons why. Explain your reasons constantly. Tell them why you love them. Not everyone sees things the way you do so they may not agree but if you tell someone why they are so amazing enough times, there is a slight hope that they will, someday, believe you.
--- Aimee ---
Friday 4 September 2015
Teenage Boys
I am fully aware that the article you are about to read will stir things. So I will state now that this probably is a biased opinion. It's not about every teenage boy ever, only a select group. And I am also aware that people are likely to have strong opinions agianst what I am about to say. But please trust me when I say I'm not a total judmmental bitch as these opinions have been formed on the basis of events and conversations I have both experienced and witnessed in the past.
So teenage boys. The sheer number of groups which that title entails. I would start by clarifying which specific group I'm planning on talking about but I honestly don't know what to call them as a whole. I guess it's hard to group as they are spotted about. In almost every group. At every school.
I understand completely that people have their own problems, I think it takes a real heartless person to not understand that. But it's determining real problems from things which aren't problems. What do I mean? Example, earlier this year I was being messaged by a guy who I had no interest in. Obviously I couldn't be so horrible as to ignore him from the off or even tell him I wasn't interested. So I was friendly and spoke to him.
This is the point where people become two-faced. People will say "you shouldn't lead him on" and that's the difficulty. No, I'm not trying to be harsh but I shouldn't have to talk to anyone I don't want to, not when I have a choice in the matter. Leading someone on is one hell of a complicated thing to explain. Would you rather me be a bitch and just ignore him from the off? Why do people see a girl being friendly as them leading someone on?
In my opinion, people always deserve a chance. I'll always talk to new people if they message me because I never know what their intentions are. Of course I can assume they are always the same but I'd like to give them the chance to prove otherwise, someday someone might just want a friendship. But no. So far, in my experience, that has not been the case.
No, in my experience it goes a bit like this. Guy messages me. We have a friendly conversation. He clearly is more intrested in me than vice versa. I try to tell him nicely that I don't want anything like a relationship. He gets offended. I get insulted. I look like the bad guy. But why I ask? Why do I get insulted/verbally abused for denying someone's intrest in me.
It's a free country yes? So why is it frowned upon for me to turn someone down? Society seems to have this mad idea that girls are bitches because of the guys they "friend zone". Ok, maybe I do feel sorry for some guys sometimes when they truly do love someone, when they have real feelings but the feeling isn't mutal. Of course I understand that, I've been at the other end of that and I'm sure most of us have. But, more often than not, it's nothing more than a physical attraction which brings someone to talk to another, as harsh as it may be.
Why is being "friend zoned" by someone you barley know such a talked about "issue"? Sure, I feel a tiny bit bad that the girl you find hot doesn't like you back but it doesnt, in any way, give you the right to call her a bitch. If you ask a person a question, they always have a choice. It doesn't matter what the question is, I cannot stress that enough. No girls aren't obligated to go out with you just because they were nice to you. They owe you nothing. If someone asks you out, you can say no! It's a choice. It's because of the shitty society which we are stuck in that people are so afraid. Afraid to decline an offer all due to the consequences.
As a teenage girl, I shouldn't fear being insulted for not wanting to do something. Earlier this year I got called "mean" as I told someone I didn't want to have sex with them. I dare you to tell me that's equality! I know I could have been called worse or worse could have happened to me but it still doesn't make it right. I have rights. I can say whatever I want. I have a choice.
Another example to share. Last year, I got asked out by a guy. I declined, in a fairly nice way. I told him he was a great person and good friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship with him or anyone for that matter. Granted there isn't really a straightforward way of accepting a rejection. But I'll tell you what is not acceptable. What is not acceptable is making some one feel bad for their own opinion. In this specific situation the response I got was being told how I "would never get anywhere if I didn't try to have a relationship" and "might aswell give it a shot".
Yes rejection isn't easy to handle but you should at least respect the persons decision. Making me feel bad for my own choice is not ok! Forcing me to change my opinion isn't ok! And this is where I get annoyed. When boys complain about being "friend zoned". I've had little but enough experience to know that girls don't get annoyed at a guy to no reason, there's always a reason. In my view, some guys (not all, I am aware of that) think that because a girl was nice they have a right.
No no no. Just because a girl was being friendly person it doesn't make her want to sleep with you. Let's get this straight. Being nice isn't leading someone on. Having a friendly conversation isn't leading someone on. Example - "hey, how are you" "hey, I'm good thanks how are you?" is not leading someone on. Leading someone on would be - "it's really lonely without you here" "I know I wish I could be cuddled up with your right now".
Too many boys get the wrong impression. Yes, shock horror, boys and girls can talk and it not mean anything. Weird right? Who'd have thought that!? Not everything has to lead somewhere. Sometimes a friendship is all someone is after. But no, the majority ruins it for us all.
This is the sad reality about society. Is it really any wonder that most girls are wary of guys? Is this the type of place people actually want to live? Scared of rejecting someone? So what's the message being sent by this fact? That women should make men happy by doing what they want? Because, clearly women's rights and freedom of speech isn't anywhere as near as important as making sure a guy gets to sleep with the girl he wants to.
--- Aimee ---
So teenage boys. The sheer number of groups which that title entails. I would start by clarifying which specific group I'm planning on talking about but I honestly don't know what to call them as a whole. I guess it's hard to group as they are spotted about. In almost every group. At every school.
I understand completely that people have their own problems, I think it takes a real heartless person to not understand that. But it's determining real problems from things which aren't problems. What do I mean? Example, earlier this year I was being messaged by a guy who I had no interest in. Obviously I couldn't be so horrible as to ignore him from the off or even tell him I wasn't interested. So I was friendly and spoke to him.
This is the point where people become two-faced. People will say "you shouldn't lead him on" and that's the difficulty. No, I'm not trying to be harsh but I shouldn't have to talk to anyone I don't want to, not when I have a choice in the matter. Leading someone on is one hell of a complicated thing to explain. Would you rather me be a bitch and just ignore him from the off? Why do people see a girl being friendly as them leading someone on?
In my opinion, people always deserve a chance. I'll always talk to new people if they message me because I never know what their intentions are. Of course I can assume they are always the same but I'd like to give them the chance to prove otherwise, someday someone might just want a friendship. But no. So far, in my experience, that has not been the case.
No, in my experience it goes a bit like this. Guy messages me. We have a friendly conversation. He clearly is more intrested in me than vice versa. I try to tell him nicely that I don't want anything like a relationship. He gets offended. I get insulted. I look like the bad guy. But why I ask? Why do I get insulted/verbally abused for denying someone's intrest in me.
It's a free country yes? So why is it frowned upon for me to turn someone down? Society seems to have this mad idea that girls are bitches because of the guys they "friend zone". Ok, maybe I do feel sorry for some guys sometimes when they truly do love someone, when they have real feelings but the feeling isn't mutal. Of course I understand that, I've been at the other end of that and I'm sure most of us have. But, more often than not, it's nothing more than a physical attraction which brings someone to talk to another, as harsh as it may be.
Why is being "friend zoned" by someone you barley know such a talked about "issue"? Sure, I feel a tiny bit bad that the girl you find hot doesn't like you back but it doesnt, in any way, give you the right to call her a bitch. If you ask a person a question, they always have a choice. It doesn't matter what the question is, I cannot stress that enough. No girls aren't obligated to go out with you just because they were nice to you. They owe you nothing. If someone asks you out, you can say no! It's a choice. It's because of the shitty society which we are stuck in that people are so afraid. Afraid to decline an offer all due to the consequences.
As a teenage girl, I shouldn't fear being insulted for not wanting to do something. Earlier this year I got called "mean" as I told someone I didn't want to have sex with them. I dare you to tell me that's equality! I know I could have been called worse or worse could have happened to me but it still doesn't make it right. I have rights. I can say whatever I want. I have a choice.
Another example to share. Last year, I got asked out by a guy. I declined, in a fairly nice way. I told him he was a great person and good friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship with him or anyone for that matter. Granted there isn't really a straightforward way of accepting a rejection. But I'll tell you what is not acceptable. What is not acceptable is making some one feel bad for their own opinion. In this specific situation the response I got was being told how I "would never get anywhere if I didn't try to have a relationship" and "might aswell give it a shot".
Yes rejection isn't easy to handle but you should at least respect the persons decision. Making me feel bad for my own choice is not ok! Forcing me to change my opinion isn't ok! And this is where I get annoyed. When boys complain about being "friend zoned". I've had little but enough experience to know that girls don't get annoyed at a guy to no reason, there's always a reason. In my view, some guys (not all, I am aware of that) think that because a girl was nice they have a right.
No no no. Just because a girl was being friendly person it doesn't make her want to sleep with you. Let's get this straight. Being nice isn't leading someone on. Having a friendly conversation isn't leading someone on. Example - "hey, how are you" "hey, I'm good thanks how are you?" is not leading someone on. Leading someone on would be - "it's really lonely without you here" "I know I wish I could be cuddled up with your right now".
Too many boys get the wrong impression. Yes, shock horror, boys and girls can talk and it not mean anything. Weird right? Who'd have thought that!? Not everything has to lead somewhere. Sometimes a friendship is all someone is after. But no, the majority ruins it for us all.
This is the sad reality about society. Is it really any wonder that most girls are wary of guys? Is this the type of place people actually want to live? Scared of rejecting someone? So what's the message being sent by this fact? That women should make men happy by doing what they want? Because, clearly women's rights and freedom of speech isn't anywhere as near as important as making sure a guy gets to sleep with the girl he wants to.
--- Aimee ---
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Truck Festival (Take 4)
Nearing the end of festival season in the UK, it is probably about time I got round to posting my annual Truck Festival piece. 2018 marked...
-
Oh Truck Festival here we are again and once again you were a dream. A wet, muddy and miserable dream perhaps but a dream nonetheless. ... -
In a world full of competing females on Instagram with there perfect bodies and their trendy clothes you won't find me in the nearest To...