Teenage Boys

I am fully aware that the article you are about to read will stir things. So I will state now that this probably is a biased opinion. It's not about every teenage boy ever, only a select group. And I am also aware that people are likely to have strong opinions agianst what I am about to say. But please trust me when I say I'm not a total judmmental bitch as these opinions have been formed on the basis of events and conversations I have both experienced and witnessed in the past.

So teenage boys. The sheer number of groups which that title entails. I would start by clarifying which specific group I'm planning on talking about but I honestly don't know what to call them as a whole. I guess it's hard to group as they are spotted about. In almost every group. At every school.

I understand completely that people have their own problems, I think it takes a real heartless person to not understand that. But it's determining real problems from things which aren't problems. What do I mean? Example, earlier this year I was being messaged by a guy who I had no interest in. Obviously  I couldn't be so horrible as to ignore him from the off or even tell him I wasn't interested. So I was friendly and spoke to him.

This is the point where people become two-faced. People will say "you shouldn't lead him on" and that's the difficulty. No, I'm not trying to be harsh but I shouldn't have to talk to anyone I don't want to, not when I have a choice in the matter. Leading someone on is one hell of a complicated thing to explain. Would you rather me be a bitch and just ignore him from the off? Why do people see a girl being friendly as them leading someone on?

In my opinion, people always deserve a chance. I'll always talk to new people if they message me because I never know what their intentions are. Of course I can assume they are always the same but I'd like to give them the chance to prove otherwise, someday someone might just want a friendship. But no. So far, in my experience, that has not been the case.

No, in my experience it goes a bit like this. Guy messages me. We have a friendly conversation. He clearly is more intrested in me than vice versa. I try to tell him nicely that I don't want anything like a relationship. He gets offended. I get insulted. I look like the bad guy. But why I ask? Why do I get insulted/verbally abused for denying someone's intrest in me.

It's a free country yes? So why is it frowned upon for me to turn someone down? Society seems to have this mad idea that girls are bitches because of the guys they "friend zone". Ok, maybe I do feel sorry for some guys sometimes when they truly do love someone, when they have real feelings but the feeling isn't mutal. Of course I understand that, I've been at the other end of that and I'm sure most of us have. But, more often than not, it's nothing more than a physical attraction which brings someone to talk to another, as harsh as it may be.

Why is being "friend zoned" by someone you barley know such a talked about "issue"? Sure, I feel a tiny bit bad that the girl you find hot doesn't like you back but it doesnt, in any way, give you the right to call her a bitch. If you ask a person a question, they always have a choice. It doesn't matter what the question is, I cannot stress that enough. No girls aren't obligated to go out with you just because they were nice to you. They owe you nothing. If someone asks you out, you can say no! It's a choice. It's because of the shitty society which we are stuck in that people are so afraid. Afraid to decline an offer all due to the consequences.

As a teenage girl, I shouldn't fear being insulted for not wanting to do something. Earlier this year I got called "mean" as I told someone I didn't want to have sex with them. I dare you to tell me that's equality! I know I could have been called worse or worse could have happened to me but it still doesn't make it right. I have rights. I can say whatever I want. I have a choice.

Another example to share. Last year, I got asked out by a guy. I declined, in a fairly nice way. I told him he was a great person and good friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a relationship with him or anyone for that matter. Granted there isn't really a straightforward way of accepting a rejection. But I'll tell you what is not acceptable. What is not acceptable is making some one feel bad for their own opinion. In this specific situation the response I got was being told how I "would never get anywhere if I didn't try to have a relationship" and "might aswell give it a shot".

Yes rejection isn't easy to handle but you should at least respect the persons decision. Making me feel bad for my own choice is not ok! Forcing me to change my opinion isn't ok! And this is where I get annoyed. When boys complain about being "friend zoned". I've had little but enough experience to know that girls don't get annoyed at a guy to no reason, there's always a reason. In my view, some guys (not all, I am aware of that) think that because a girl was nice they have a right.

No no no. Just because a girl was being friendly person it doesn't make her want to sleep with you. Let's get this straight. Being nice isn't leading someone on. Having a friendly conversation isn't leading someone on. Example - "hey, how are you" "hey, I'm good thanks how are you?" is not leading someone on. Leading someone on would be - "it's really lonely without you here" "I know I wish I could be cuddled up with your right now".

Too many boys get the wrong impression. Yes, shock horror, boys and girls can talk and it not mean anything. Weird right? Who'd have thought that!? Not everything has to lead somewhere. Sometimes a friendship is all someone is after. But no, the majority ruins it for us all.

This is the sad reality about society. Is it really any wonder that most girls are wary of guys? Is this the type of place people actually want to live? Scared of rejecting someone? So what's the message being sent by this fact? That women should make men happy by doing what they want? Because, clearly women's rights and freedom of speech isn't anywhere as near as important as making sure a guy gets to sleep with the girl he wants to.

--- Aimee ---