The Insecure Generation

Social networking. A way to instantly contact others. Quick communication, quick sharing. A real development in modern day society, correct? I guess you'd have to be quite shallow not to recognise the issues and problems which come with such commuication.

As a generation, we've been taught from very early on to be careful on social netoworks. "Don't give away personal details." "Don't talk to strangers." But, to be honest, are these the real issues we should be focused on? In my experience, there are far, far, far more issues due to things which are not addressed by enough people, especially the media.

With social networks such as Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook, looks are heavily looked at in this generation. You will always be judged on looks. People will tell you that "looks aren't everything" but this is bullshit. I'm not saying that this should be the case in any way, of course it shouldn't. It's totally wrong and creates such snap judgments of people which are hard to turn back on.

But, with such interactive and public networking, the bigger issue is far more relevant than just "staying safe." No, the issue at hand is self-love, or, as usually is the case, the opposite in fact, insecurity. In our generation, it is especially important issue to address and is so extremely relevant.

Teenagers of today have to deal with so much on a daily basis. So much stress. But, no longer is the stress all achievment based as there is so much stress in how you look. I say this as the main source of insecurity is appearance and it is also the main form which the media target (in complete the wrong way.) Of course it would be arrogant to pretend there isn't more reasons for insecurity. Reasoning such as grades, expectations and work levels.

I am aware that I have addressed the issues of both body positivity and society's expectations in the past. But insecurity isn't all about your body. Yes, it plays a major role but it's the expectations of insecure people that gets me. For example, if someone says they hate their body and then post an image of their body, it's called attention seeking? Shouldn't, instead of calling someone out for wanting attention, we be praising that they are struggling to come to terms with how they are despite what they feel deep down?

I personally have had many issues with insecurities. As I always am aware, I'm not the worst in the world. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to attention seek, just simply stating facts. Saying that, I think anyone would find it rather hard to blog about a topic which they had no experience with at all. As well as being aware that I could be worse, I also know it's actuall, sadly, fairly common in today's society.

I have never been the skinniest. I have never been the prettiest. Never the smartest. At this exact moment in time, it doesn't bother me, I'm happy. My god have I been through hell and back to reach the point where I can say that. But it really is a struggle for most people to actual accept themselves. What others need to learn is that everyone has their own way of dealing with such issues. Some people indulge into using makeup. Others into a new hairstyle. Or perhaps a certain clothing style. So what? If it makes them feel comfortable let them do it!

We try so hard nowadays to get everyone's approval but the fact of life is there will always be people who disagree, no matter how hard you try. A personal favourite celebrity of mine is the wonderful goddess Jennifer Aniston. If you are not already aware, she was photographed out on a run the other day following arriving back from her honeymoon. The article sparked uproar as she was described as "looking more rounded than usual" and accused of "relaxing" her diet. It shocks me that someone could make such judgments on such a thing. Due to her being a celebrity, people are even more concerned about her looking good. But why? Yes, clearly due to all of her achievements and numerous films, she must be a shit actress, so her looks really are all she has.

The only thing worse than articles/statements going against self-love and acceptance is ignoring that there is a problem to begin with. So many teens, especially girls turn to things such as self-harm as a way to cope with not being good enough. No one on earth can try to convince me that that is ok. Sure the media can tell us figures and how sad the reality of it all is but who should feel sympathetic due to this knowledge. How can the media tell us how upsetting it is when they are the ones who are also telling us we are not good enough?

Moving away from the appearance side of this issue there are issues involving many other aspect of who we are. Personality, characteristics, opinion. In many ways these are far worse insecurities. Personally, I'm insecure about many of my thoughts. My opinions on topics such as feminism make me insecure. It sounds stupid, pathetic but how am I supposed to voice my opinions on such matters when I know the reaction I will get will be "well that's the way things are." My opinions won't be acknowledged, just shot down because it's easier to deny that there's a way to fix it than accept that it needs to be fixed.

Due to the very vaired levels of insecurity, it makes it hard for people to understand the achievment of something so little. For instance, two girls each post a picture of themselves in a bikini due to them liking the picture and feeling confident about it. Girl number one does this often, she often goes on runs, works on her body and is proud to show it off. She knows she will be accepted and congratulated on how she looks. Now, girl number two. She has suffered from a lot in the past, she has scars on her arms and legs from self-harm. She's never felt confident about herself but she's learning to accept it. She's proud also, but this girl is proud of her strength, of her courage. Of course to girl number one, the actions of girl number two is nothing incredible, nothing courageous. Moral? You have to understand the person themselves before you judge their actions or how brave they are.

Insecurity will not be fixed overnight, I know that. There will always be pictures posted of others which make you wish you looked different. But I promise you, no matter who you are, you are beautiful, you are incredible, you are remarkable. Not everyone is lucky enough to love themselves and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we may never reach that point. I guess the best we can do is find people who love us as we are and hope that one day we understand how right they are to do so.

By all means love yourself the way you are but, if I ask you for one thing, it's please don't, ever, knock someone else down as a way to bring yourself up. We each have our own definition of beauty and its ok if someone doesn't meet yours but please keep that to yourself. Don't upset others with your opinions because it only adds to the problem.

In a world where so many things are already against us, the least we can do is try to help, encourage and support each other. Don't ever believe that there is anyone out there who has no reason to be insecure. Being accepted by others is not the same as being accepted by yourself, understand that, please. If you want someone to love themselves, give them reasons why. Explain your reasons constantly. Tell them why you love them. Not everyone sees things the way you do so they may not agree but if you tell someone why they are so amazing enough times, there is a slight hope that they will, someday, believe you.

--- Aimee ---