Two Years Meat Free

'Don't you ever miss meat?'

'Blimey, I couldn't do that'

'But surely you eat fish?'

'You aren't really making a difference'

Welcome to this blog post that I am going to describe as 'things vegetarians are tired of hearing'.

As I embark upon my second year being vegetarian, I am becoming more and more aware of the issues, views and stigmas around the subject and, with this understanding I have complied a little list on some issues for for you to dwell upon.

Misusing the word 'vegetarian'
There is a lot of confusion surrounding the idea of vegetarianism which is largely due to a misuse of the word. Vegetarianism is simply defined as the practise of not eating fish or meat. However, vegetarian is used too broadly in society, often covering those who eat fish also.

Although less commonly known, there is word for this; pesciterian. Labelling those who consume fish products as vegetarians causes a lot of confusion among non-vegetarians. This misconception of the idea means that my restaurant experiences consists of me naming myself as a vegetarian and, when then offered the range of fish dishes on the menu, having to state that, actually, I don't eat fish either. Let's not talk about the restaurants which present fish dishes with the vegetarian 'V' next to them.

It shouldn't be this difficult, the word literally means no fish or meat. Stop. Offering. Me. Fish.

Questioning my decision
Some take the opportunity of my dietary preferences to decide for me what I should or shouldn't like/miss/feel. I have made a decision to be vegetarian. If at any point I wish to revert that decision I can.

Please stop asking me if I miss meat and am tempted to eat it again. It is none of your business that Christmas rolls around and pigs in blankets makes me regret giving up meat (for about 5 seconds before I remind myself that animals have been murdered and that is not right.)

If you are genuinely interested in my reasoning then please, ask away. However, if you are just going to mock me, belittle me and interrogate me then please stop wasting your time. If I ever decide to alter my decision it will be my choice and not because Jim in the pub told me I should.

Lack of choice
When I go out to restaurants of course I don't expect the entire menu to be meat and fish free but I do expect some choice. Please don't completely take away my ability to choose what I want to eat. Meat eaters can also opt for these options so please don't make them so limited. It seems almost laughable that Nandos, a restaurant specialising in chicken, has more to offer me than major chain restaurants.

And don't even get me started on the children's menus which exclusively offers meat dishes.

The pointlessness
You always get the pessimistic meat eaters who believe that you're fighting a lost cause and that no number of conversions to meat free diets will make a change. Or they belief that 'the animals will be killed anyway' so what does it matter if you eat them or not. But it does matter because less people purchasing meat means less demand for meat which means less meat being produced aka a change.

Maybe if Tesco were to advertise vegetarianism people would understand that 'every little helps'.

But you're assuming that I'm trying to make some global change. I know that everyone isn't going to stop eating meat tomorrow but because I think its wrong; I'm not the naive. I'm just trying to do my bit to be a better person and help out in any way I can.

Saving the planet would be nice but so would passing my a-levels; it's not top of my agenda right now.

The stereotypical vegetarian
As with any personal preference which distinguishes you from another person, there is no rule book on what you should be.

We won't call you out every time you chose meat over the veggie option (well not all of us anyway.) Of course sometimes it is necessary, after all if we don't make a stand how do we expect more people to become aware and change their ways?

We won't throw up at the sight of meat. As a waitress it would prove difficult if this were the case. I understand and respect that some people will chose to eat meat no matter what horrible stories you tell them and, just as it is no place for them to tell me what to do, it is no place for me to tell them what to do either.

And we don't all go around protesting animal testing and animal rights either. Sure, animal rights are important but there just aren't enough hours in the day. If people want to do that then be my guest but I'll do my bit by choosing the cheaper, meat free option from Pizza Express thanks.

Nor do we all think we are better simply because we cut out meat. Sure, we could be considered more caring, more aware but not altogether 'better'.

So please, please, please stop with the questions; it's my choice, not yours.

--- Aimee ---

Looking Back Over 18 Years

So here it is, my 18th birthday and how long I have waited for this moment.

The day of freedom, the day of adulthood...oh crap, I'm going to be an adult.

Part of me has been dreading this moment. A few weeks back I had a horrible realisation; I'm almost 18. That means that next year I'll be 19, then I'll be into my twenties. My twenties?? Are we sure this is right?

I'm pretty sure last year was 2012 and I was wasting the summer away with my first proper haircut and my obsession with powdered foundation.

And I'm almost certain that it wasn't that long ago that I was an innocent five year old in Disneyland Paris wearing my favourite purple coat.

Is it really time to grow up already? If I blast out Avril Lavigne's banger 'Here's To Never Growing Up' can I reclaim my childhood?

It hasn't been an easy ride but that's not to say it hasn't been fun. I've had a lot of fun.

3 hair colours, 7 countries and 18 concerts later and here I am, the big 1 8. Ready to fly the nest (in 5 months time.)

Can I approach this milestone by claiming the perks but not the responsibilities? Probably not. Will I try to anyway? Almost definitely.


I may have been waiting for this moment my whole life (ok, bit dramatic. Probably since I was 10 in reality) but I wish I could do it all again. The things I'm 'too old' for now. I want to be 8 and climbing trees, not 18 and sitting my A Levels.

At what point did I blink and fast forward my entire childhood?

I hope my next 18 years are just as magical although a bit less difficult (come on world, be nice to me please.)

I'm ready for the challenges ahead and the changes on the horizon.

I'm ready to become an adult. Ready to begin my life of limitless possibilities.

But I haven't always been ready. I've had to learn many lessons to get here. Poor 5 year old Aimee didn't know how tough this ride was going to be for her but she made it.

She flipping made it.

--- Aimee ---

Social Stigmas

Being a young person is hard. Exams are getting tougher, expectations are getting higher and mental health issues are on the increase.

It's not an easy ride through the teenage years of hormones, stress and changes. And it's made even more difficult by the numerous negative stereotypes and preconceived ideas society seem to have about us.

There are still some stigma's which are overly present in society.

We are all thugs 
The 2000's was a real breakthrough decade.

Flip phones, social media and pop groups galore.

Unfortunately it also saw the birth of the 'teenagers are all thugs' image which we have been desperately trying to shake ever since.

It seems to be fading out but that doesn't mean it's completely gone, not yet.

I'm getting more smiles from the elderly and less crossing-the-road-to-avoid-me occurrences.

But it's still an issue. At almost 18 years of age I am still scared of teenagers or, more specifically, groups of teenagers who look threatening. It's a stereotype which will not just disappear.

We can only hope to regain our positive place in society sometime in the near future and, maybe, with so many positive stories of teenagers outnumbering the negative ones, we are close to that place already.

Our opinions are not valid
Important issues such as politics deserve to have a secure place in everyday conversation. It's the type of thing you can't avoid so why try to?

In events such as Brexit or Donald Trump's election young people have had their say but, sadly, these opinions are often rejected by middle aged, middle class, white men who fear we 'lack education' or 'can't even vote yet'. But, just because we do not have the ability to vote it does not mean we can't have our own opinion. More commonly than not this opinion is based on our own research and understanding of important topics such as immigration, sexism and racism.

We are young, influential and, importantly, open minded. The changes in years to come will be our doing. The power is in our hands. It is our time.

If the case is you feel we are not properly educated maybe you should make a stand and attempt to change the system. A simple protest or petition here and there is bound to make some change even if just the publicity allowing more people to join your campaign.

Please don't blame us for not knowing about the 'bigger issues' when we are stuck in a classroom 5 days a week where these are not taught.

We are a burden
It's difficult to be a teen in this world and not feel like you are a massive problem to everyone.

A common example of this is the doctors. As a overly worried teenage girl I have several trips to the doctors each year, some quick, one minute appointments where they take my blood pressure and give me my tablets but others not so quick.

I may be the type of person to give a cheeky google of my symptoms and panic when I realise they are signs of some deadly disease which, in all likeliness i probably don't have. But google is my friend, especially when the alternative is facing the dreaded doctors surgery.

Each time I go I feel so insignificant; like I'm probably worrying about nothing. I feel a sense of disgust and a 'just get over it' vibe which means I probably won't be going back when I have a serious problem which needs addressing.

Relationships won't last
Yes I am young and yes, my relationship may not work out in the long run. But also, it might.

Please don't shove your 'you're young, things won't last' idea down my throat when you have not the slightest idea about how things are going. I appreciate your concern about not getting my hopes up and all that but sometimes maybe it doesn't need saying.

Not every teenage relationship is destined for failure and heartache, please leave me to suffer or celebrate in peace.

Stop the stereotyping of things you think you know about us and get to know us as individuals; our kindness might surprise you.

--- Aimee ---

Females in Football

Leggings. Jeans. Thermal. T-shirt. Jumper.

Coat. Hat. Scarf. Socks.

Another pair of socks.

You would think I was heading out to the Arctic with the multiple layers of warmth I dressed myself with a few weeks ago. But I'm afraid I'm not that adventurous.

No, these layers were my clothing choices prior to leaving the house to head in preparation to yet another (poorly attended) football game at the Madejski Stadium.

It was cold. Bitterly cold.

I found myself asking myself 'what am I doing here?' And I probably wasn't the only one thinking that. But the other people that were sharing my thought were not considering their own presence at the game; they were considering mine.

I'm a young, teenage girl at a football game, this isn't my place.

Photo Credits: Mark Beeley

Attending another game last night (who doesn't love a bit of Tuesday night football?) and I found I could not help but notice the severe lack of females. Or, to be more honest, the lack of females who wanted to go and weren't just tagging along because their partners wanted them there.

Because, unfortunately females are still in the minority when it comes to football matches. The committee itself is male dominated but does it need to be the same for the fans?

It's no wonder females often choose not to go, given the poor reputation of fouling, abusive language and behaviour associated with the game.

But, and here's the cliche; it's not that bad.

You won't go to a football match and be harassed or abused (at least not the games I go to). You won't be attacked due to your gender. You probably won't even be asked why you're there. You'll be accepted, but only after they've registered the idea that women can enjoy football too.

It's not everyone's idea of fun and it's certainly not ladylike but who said I ever wanted to be a 'lady' anyway? That doesn't sound like my idea of fun.

Time and time again I have found myself in the situation where, not only is knowledge on football not expected of me, it is treated with a shock reaction.

Yes I actually could name more than 10 football teams. Yes I could name more than 10 players. Yes I know that England will not be playing Liverpool in the World Cup.

No my knowledge is not perfect. I'm still a bit wobbly on the offside rule, I don't know all the players and I don't follow all of the team statistics and ratings. But that doesn't mean it doesn't interest me.

Football is not my life nor is it my priority each and everyday. I don't spend my days worrying about whose injured this time and how long for. Or how many points Reading need to be third. Or how other teams that I don't even care about are getting on.

Instead I spend my evenings catching up on last nights EastEnders and trying to understand what exactly Shakespeare meant by using an intense amount of animal imagery in King Lear. (Priorities!)

So, if you're going to judge my lack of football knowledge please do so on the basis that I don't follow the team news or the league table. Or the fact that I don't watch matches I miss on tv or catch them on the radio.

Judge me because I haven't paid attention to the new signing or change in ownership.

Don't judge me because I'm a woman.

I deserve to be here just as much as you do.

--- Aimee ---

For Better or For Worse

So a few weeks ago myself and my dear friend Sam (sorry this isn't the appreciation post I promised you) were reading a number of petitions on change.org (sign up if you haven't already, it is brilliant.)

A quick overview of change.org. It's basically a site where you can create, browse and sign a number of different petitions and really feel like you're making a change. You can also read all the success stories which really do brighten your day because there are actually good people in the world (I know, shocking right?)

Now I'm not an expert so I am not aware of the inns and outs of civil partnerships. But, I am fairly well educated on society and it's treatment of various minorities against the majorities.

So among the many posts about the government or the NHS or some woman who wants to help her daughter get the treatment she needs, one specific petition caught my attention.

When I saw the title 'Open civil partnerships to all' I got excited. I was anticipating a rant-style article about the discrimination of the LGBT community in society. I hoped it would be an article than would fuel me with rage and think to myself  'hell yeah this is an important cause, I'm going to give it a sign'.

Unfortunately I was wrong. The article was not pro-LGBT nor was it trying to be. The article was all about the prejudice against straight people (because we all know that clearly exists, God I hate it when I'm attacked for being straight. Oh wait...)

A couple wanted a civil partnership but this had been denied as they were not a same sex couple. They felt this was wrong and decided (for some odd reason) to start a petition to aid their case.

Sadly the petition has been signed by 71,000 people. That means that 71,000 people truly believe that straight people (in this case) are being discriminated against. 71,000 people have basically outed that gay rights are no more important than straight rights.

Despite the idiotic nature of this petition, there is one piece of the write up which I can understand. The female felt as though marriage is a patriarchal idea which limits women's rights and allows women to be objectified which is a fair enough point but does not justify the bizarre issue this couple are offended by.

So basically, two people (and 71,000 more) have decided that the title which many LGBT people were forced to settle with because they did not have the option of the luxurious status of marriage.

It is like saying that you're not happy with someone being in benefits and feel that you should also get this money as that would be fair even though you're earning £50,000 a year. It's complaining that someone has different treatment because they have always been discriminated against and now have the rights they have fought for and thoroughly deserve.

It is white, heterosexual people complaining about being discriminated against without knowing what discrimination actually is.

--- Aimee ---

Goodbye 2016

As 2016 draws to a close this evening it seems only appropriate to reflect on the year we are leaving behind.

Many believe 2016 has been the 'worst year ever' and, sure, plenty of bad things have happened, need I mention Trump, Brexit or Syria?

Politically the UK made a (poor) decision to leave the EU while in the US Trump was elected President by the people (although which people I remain unsure). Musically the world lost pop icons David Bowie, Prince and George Micheal along with many more. There were countless terror attacks globally along with the continuation of wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria.

However, social media hasn't held all bad news, many people have been focusing on the good things that happened this year (yes, believe it or not there were some) and that's the best way to look at things isn't it? Sure, you can't ignore the bad, but you can embrace the positivity and it all becomes a lot easier to deal with.

So, in case you think this was the year the world fell apart here are some positives to take from 2016;
- Sri Lanka is now a malaria free country
- Giant pandas are no longer endangered
- Africa is free from Ebola
- SeaWorld stopped the breeding of captive killer whales
- the Ozone layer is repairing itself
- the 2016 Olympics featured the first ever refugee team

There have been many tragedies this year but if we had equal coverage for all the good things this year then maybe people wouldn't think 2016 was as bad as they claim. But I am not going to be brought down by the negatives of the year because, for me, it has been a good one, a very good one.

I will happily welcome the new year but I am in no rush to leave this year behind. I have had plenty of wonderful memories with people whose presence makes my day.

2016 was the year I began learning to drive. The year I got four universities offers in a week. The year I got to spend 10 months with my wonderful boyfriend. The year I became close to some extraordinary people who have helped me in ways I could never have imagined. The year I welcomed my baby cousin into the world. The year I achieved an A in one of my AS subjects. The year I signed up to being a blood donor. The year I got to see two of the most important people in my life go to university. The year one of my best friends gave birth. The year I got to spend Truck Festival weekend with my dad. The year I saw West Ham play at Upton Park for a final time.

It was the year I read some wonderful books (The Girl On The Train, The Handmaid's Tale, The Kite Runner, Revolutionary Road) and watched some brilliant films (Trainspotting, Legally Blonde, 13 Going on 30, Big Fish, Still Alice, The Help). It was the year I finally finished The Reader and finally started 1984. It was the year I once again attended the always brilliant Truck Festival and saw Neck Deep, Blossoms and Slaves in concert. It was the year I saw The BFG, The Revenant and The Girl on The Train at the cinema.

It was a year that I happily got to spend with so many wonderful people.

It was a year full of laughter and love. 2017 I'm ready for you.

--- Aimee ---

Pitfalls

Monday 21st November marked the third time in a little over a year that I saw Slaves live.

I'll admit I wasn't overly excited; after all this was the third time I was seeing them, I knew what to expect.

I'd seen the set list a few days before. I knew they would play Debbie Where's Your Car? I knew they would play The Hunter and Cheer Up London. I knew they would play the majority of songs from their new album Take Control which I had wisely began listening to a whole two days before the gig (there's nothing like being prepared eh?)

There were few surprises on the day. Isaac performed the majority of the set shirtless. The pit was full of young people whereas the outer layer of the crowd were generally people above 40. The atmosphere was insane.

But if I learnt one thing on Monday it was this; mosh pits look way more fun than they are.

I'm sure that is not always the case. For example, I am sure that if you're a teenage to early twenties, fairly muscular, above average height male it's great. Unfortunately for someone of a below average height who has little to her, I struggled. I really struggled.

I survived a whole two songs in the pit (which was pretty good going for me I thought) before I began to panic due to a severe lack of space and air.

I was beginning to severely overheat and had already been pushed to the ground countless times. My tactic of grabbing whichever person around me looked most stable had helped but not altogether stopped my falls.

By this point I had lost Bella (who I was with up until mid-way through the first song) and was completely alone. But this didn't bother me; I was absolutely fine being alone and I wasn't expecting to be with Bella the whole time anyway.

My cute and punk looking space buns were failing me. I was covered in sweat; both mine and other peoples. I was thankful for choosing shorts and fishnet tights as opposed to my ripped jeans. It was not my finest hour.

I saw a tweet the other day about a fan who experienced the 'crowd from hell' along with a response that she 'couldn't handle' the gig. There were many comments about how she should have expected this atmosphere for the concert she was attending along with many highly unsympathetic comments regarding her experience.

This wasn't the case with me. I knew what I was letting myself in for - well I kind of knew - after all no one had specifically told me that I would be crushed between 6ft guys and knocked to the ground more times than was necessary but you live and learn.

I'm not bitter, I'm just not so sure it was for me.

--- Aimee ---

The Social Media Age

The world in which we live in is very different today than it was 10 - 20 years ago.

So much change captivating the world. A lot of the change which has occurred over the past few decades has been regarding technology and, in more recent times, social media.

When I was 12 my two main forms of communication was BBM and MSN. Social media meant talking with your friends in a way that wasn't texting. It meant changing your personal message to how you were feeling and changing your name to include whichever of your friends you happened to be with followed by a heart emoji that you had to copy from someone else's BBM name.

Nowadays 12 year olds have everything; Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram. This isn't a 'I was never allowed these things when I was that age' rant because these sites simply did not exist, either that or they were not mainstream. Maybe social media wasn't what it is now but I for one am glad. I'm glad the only social media embarrassment I get is from my 2012 Facebook posts about how great my day was with my bffs and not from a 2013 Instagram post where I now realise I look utterly ridiculous in my crop top on a far from summers day.

Unfortunately the rise of social media has led to the downfall of our honesty.

Instagram is a prime example for this and I am a victim of the lies. Scrolling through my feed on a regular basis means relationship posts of how perfect a persons relationship is despite only recently getting back together following their third split. It means seeing the gorgeous views of someone's holiday somewhere exotic. It means seeing how flawless a person looks and leads to you thinking 'wow they are so much prettier than I will ever be'.

But most of all, it means a carefully selected group of photos which allows an outside to view your life as perfect. Or as indie. Or as picturesque.

I don't see these posts and question the people behind it. I accept what is put in front of me. I believe that these people really have perfect lives and I fear that this will never be me.

In a bitter, happy-loathing way, I want to see the negatives. I want to see the fights, the 3am sadness, the upset. I want to see that people are still human; that it's not just me having a bad time.

Because no one wants to admit that life is crap. It's an unfortunate fact of life that not everyone wants to accept. It's not because they are self-loving, positive hippies, it's because, in a world where you get to choose what others see, why choose the bad stuff?

It's dangerous; convincing yourself that life has to be an endless stream of great, Instagram worthy events. You'll fool yourself into believing that it isn't living that is important but the physical representation of it which exists through your social media accounts.

Obviously you can't let people know everything about your life (unless you're on of those annoying people who literally takes to Facebook for anything from a Chinese takeaway to your opinions on this weeks Strictly Come Dancing) which is where social media really is our friend. Only highlighting to good or the bad and not fussing over those boring and uninteresting days we all have more often than we'd like to admit.

But there is one thing which saves me from the despair of immaculate Instagram posts with a group of friends who I don't have, the Facebook check ins to exotic destinations, the posey and more-happy-than-it-is-actually-possible-to-be Snapchats and that is Twitter.

Whether its reading new theories on The Missing, finding out the latest drama in someone's friend's-sister's-daughter's love life or reading debates between feminists and meninists, Twitter truly is your guy (let's just assume Twitter is male.) Whatever the use, Twitter is entertaining, informative, amusing and, above all, it is honest.

Twitter for many acts as their safe haven; a place they can express their emotions no matter how dark and negative as well as sharing their best days. Who wouldn't want to see how especially positive someone is feeling today, does it not just fil you with joy?

Brutal honesty is a commonly seen thing, posts are littered with others giving their opinion, there are fewer lies.

If you were to scroll down my Twitter feed it would largely consist of tweets about the following: dogs, Jack, my blog, feminism (in one form or another), recent news stories, my friends, my family, music, films or books. Because that's who I am, away from the perfectly portrayed life on Instagram.

Twitter is the harsh reality of the social media world. Not everything is glorified; it doesn't need to be, people on Twitter don't expect a romanticised idea of life. It's the real world. Or as close to the real world you can access in the modern age.

The growth of social media has altered our values, our expectations. There no longer is any point in talking about mundane, daily occurrences. Importance now lies within how your strengths are promoted and your flaws are kept hidden, developing a frightening world where perfection is dominant and making mistakes is shunned, forgetting that, at the end of the day, we are only human after all.

--- Aimee ---

The (Very) White House

Since life pre Donald Trump is soon to be no more there is uncertainty in the air for what is yet to come. And the rest of the world is watching America experience the calm before the storm which will destroy America; whether that's due to Trump himself or his loyal supporters.

Unfortunately the future is no longer looking like the altered Utopian presented on our screens with the release of Back to the Future 2 in 1989. Instead the future is looking dark, frightening and bleak; especially so if you are American.

I really fear for the future of humanity when a country so great and wonderful (or so it claims) as America elects a racist who actually believes you can rid of 3 million people because 0.006625% of their religion are extremists and therefore a threat.

In times like this you really do have to ask yourself 'Are there really people out there who believe this?'

One Trump supporter stated that stopping all Muslims entering the country was the correct action to take because 'we can't identify what their attitude is'. Funny, I've never heard anyone talking about kicking white teenage males out of the country because some of them cause mass shootings? Especially shocking when you realise that 94% of terrorist attacks in America since 1980 have been carried out by non-Muslims.

If you have been active on Twitter this past week since Trump got elected then you would have been present with real life scenarios that have surfaced. Muslim women fearing wearing their hijabs in public, women being sexually harassed following Trump's delightful phrase 'grab her by the pussy', people of different ethnicities being told to 'go back home'.

The irony is, most of these people are 'home'. They are American citizens or as American as someone can actually be considering that, excluding the natives, all American's are immigrants but Trump, along with many other 'Americans' seem to ignore this in the same way that they ignore the fact that Trump's wife is also an immigrant and, for a certain period of time, was an illegal one too.

It's disgusting really, how someone can get away with so many racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic and discriminatory comments and still be given power. I'm pretty sure that, if fewer than a handful of those comments had been made by almost anyone else there would be severe consequences. But he's the person the people want I suppose, although which people that is I remain unsure of.

In late October The New York Times released a list of all the people, places and things which Donald Trump had insulted via his Twitter account. That list came to a total of 282. Those 282 things included; journalists, CNN, Forbes, protesters, Germany, Britain, illegal immigrants, Whoopi Goldberg, Samuel L. Jackson, television commercials and Obamacare.

I just want to know how. A) I want to know how it is even possible to insult so many things - surely no one hates the world that much? B) how someone can insult that many things and still have people voting for him.

In a world where the ice caps are melting, animals are losing their homes and sea levels are rising; America have elected a president who believes climate change is a hoax created by the Chinese. So well done America, at least we can give Brexit a back seat for now.

--- Aimee ---

A Post for October

As I led in my bed on September 30th I decided I would spend my October documenting (on my phone as is the modern age) each occasion that I found vaguely interesting. So, hopefully I have actually done something interesting this (coming) month which is worth writing about but, more importantly, worth reading about too.

It was a busy month. Not busy as in forever-doing-something-with-no-time-to-enjoy-yourself because, let's face it, I will always find at least 6 hours a week to watch and re-watch comedy shows on BBC iPlayer (don't lie, the BBC has the best range of comedy shows.)

I went to London (which I wish I visited more) as part of my Travel and Tourism coursework which (thankfully) was not the terrible disaster which I feared it would be and, once we realised that District and Circle tubes weren't the same, it all went fairy smoothly. The day would have likely been considerable less enjoyable had I not got to spend it with Grace who managed to save my sanity with the macaroni cheese topped with jalapeños I stumbled upon in EAT assisting the positive nature of the day.

This trip came following my day out a LEGOLAND (yes, little miss sociable right here) for a friends trip which was a very, very cold day which was not helped by idiotically deciding that the rapids were a great idea. My saving grace that day was definitely my Quorn chicken fajitas which were literally the nicest things I have cooked, ever.

Top tip to anyone planning on going on two consecutive school trips; don't. It is very tiring and there is far too much walking involved.

Aside from London, Grace and I also went for a well earned Nandos (even my Quorn chicken fajita can't beat their veggie burger with garlic bread and medium Peri-Peri sauce) and lovely little shop (although I have no recollection of buying anything but I know it was primarily charity shop shopping) on the last day of term before she ditched me by spending her whole half term in France (cheers babe.)

I had my first insight into university life by visiting Wolverhampton, Canterbury Christ Church, Derby and St Mary's and, my, what an experience it was. I absolutely loved absorbing the positive atmosphere of places where I may end up in under a years time. Despite the tremendous amount of walking involved, the days were wonderful (with thanks to my parents' ridiculous humour and jokes which honestly made me feel like I had taken my kids on a day out. And, although I am so very excited to start uni next September (providing I don't majorly screw up my A-Levels this year) I can't help but reject the idea that I'm actually ready to move out and become largely independent.

Part of me would love to believe that I am ready, that I will be able to face any challenge given to me and that I really want to start my future but, another part of me is insistent that I'm still secretly an 8 year old who likes baking cakes and stroking dogs which, to be honest, I still do. The worst part is that the excitement I have for university now will drag on a whole 10 months until I actually get to go and experience university life.

I watched Trainspotting for the first time also which, although it was very heavy and highly confusing, was a brilliant film (but now I'm sad that I won't 18 by the time the second one comes out in January because the trailer looks AMAZING.) If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it although you probably shouldn't if you are very strongly against drug use because that is pretty much 97% of the film.

Half term also happened which meant three things; a) reading and essay writing, b) a chance to see Jack and c) a spontaneous shopping trip (and who doesn't love one of those?) I really did mean to watch more films that I hadn't seen before (which I probably should've done considering I borrowed about 8 from my neighbour at the beginning of half term) but it just didn't happen. I did finally get round to starting George Orwell's 1984 which I have been meaning to do for literally months and, so far, its everything I hoped it would be and more (no spoilers please I've started it but haven't got much further than that.)

One of the highlights of the month was definitely travelling to Southampton to visit Jack (twice) even if the first train journey was one of the most stressful and busy journeys in my life. But the travelling was very much worth it especially with the warm welcome I received from Jack's flatmates. The three day stay I had, assisted by a cute cinema date to The Girl On The Train (which was amazing despite it's 44% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it's lack of similarity to the book at points) was pure bliss even if I did have to watch The Apprentice.

I also got tickets to see All Time Low which I am super excited about but it was the most stressful half hour of my life. I have decided that I do not like ordering tickets as soon as they go on sale because websites are crap and stress levels are high but I guess it's just something I'll get used to and, hopefully, more comfortable with.

Less exciting things also happened like work and netball which I figured I'd give a mention anyway just so it seems that there are other things I do besides from watching TV and visiting people and places. And I did see various people also such as my dads friend who visited for a few days and some family friends who cooked a lovely roast and providing an evening full of happiness

Near the end of the month I managed to actually make some new friends (I know, who'd have thought) on a lovely evening with those whom I already adore. It was so nice to feel comfortable around new people and actually be told such nice things about myself which really gave me some confidence which I have needed recently. It was only a small thing but it made me sure o the fact that, around the right people, I really will be loved and cherished.

I'll admit, looking back at it now it was a more exciting month than I thought it would be but I am glad it was as action-packed as it was because, on the whole, it was a really good month.

--- Aimee ---

Young and (Un)Fit

I am so fed up with people telling I'm 'young and fit' simply because I'm a healthy looking teenage girl.

Newsflash: not all young people are actually 'fit' (in an athletic way and not the cringy af, supposedly complimentary way which teenage boys deem acceptable) even if they may appear to be so.

Because I feel as though I am constantly apologising for being less fit than is socially acceptable for my age (and, I guess, someone of my physique.) And I don't want to apologise but I also don't want people to assume that I am able to do a ridiculous amount of exercise or being brilliant at sport simply because of my age.

And this annoys me on a regular basis because I feel so awful for not fitting the standard that I should be.

Example 1: Numerous times I have played two consecutive games of netball (40 minutes each) on a Sunday morning but complaining about being tired from this results (nearly always) in a 'don't be silly, you can do things like that because you're young and fit'. Alright, you try running around for 80 minutes and tell me you're not knackered? I'm not fitter than the rest of you, you just assume I am because I'm younger, and that's not really how it works.

Just because I'm younger it doesn't mean I can run (/play netball) for longer, it just means that, in the time I am playing, I can (probably) run a bit faster (aka get tired just as quickly and not actually have this extra stamina that you claim I have).

Example 2: A few weeks ago I played in a netball tournament and, at one point, played four games (10 minutes each) consecutively without a break. I was knackered and, due to this (I think, but I'm no doctor so I don't actually know) I injured my knee (google told me it was a sprain so I think it was a sprain). I don't have good knees at the best of times (bending down is usually a struggle) so this really wasn't ideal. At least this meant I had a valid reason to be bad (not on purpose ofc) in the following game and not get the usual 'but you're young' when I state that I have weak knees (well, I assume its not normal for a 17 year old to struggle to stand up once having sat down on the floor?)

I also guested for another team last night and when I was knackered after 36 minutes of game play, the captain of the team told me 'yeah but you're young and fit'. Point proven.

Example 3: A couple of years back I was suffering heavily with back pain which resulted in me seeing a physiotherapist. It was largely helpful and they gave me exercises to do (which I aabandonded when I began feeling moderately okay). I have decided that there is a 98% chance that this is hereditary (yay for me) so at least I know it's not my fault or could have been avoided (although the few years I did trampolining couldn't have helped). And it makes it a bit awks at netball when I have to explain that 'oh yeah btw kinda can't run very fast now because I just jumped, landed awkwardly on my knees and it's hurt my back' (lol at my body) for which saying I feel a 'pft, bad back, you're 17, you can't have a bad back', secretly hidden by the sympathetic 'oh go steady' comments.

And if you're a girl then you'll know how back pain is only worsened on what I shall refer to as the monthlies (or the magazine I get each month as my dad delicately put it.) This makes certain weeks rather hellish, made even worse after any form of exercise which makes me feel like a 70 year old woman who struggles to walk. (No, no honestly I am 17 not 70, believe me.)

Example 4: I really struggle to breathe while exercising in cold weather which I had almost forgotten about until last night when I was gasping for breath. It was kind of a good thing though because it made me decide I have to go back to the doctors (I think it's asthma but I don't really know.)

And again I feel as though I am disappointing my team and myself but I also kinda don't want to die. Don't think that would be fun. Sorry guys, I would love to run faster and help you out but I kind of can't breathe over here so just give me a minute please.

Oh how I wish I wasn't submitted to this category of 'young and fit'. How I wish my fitness levels weren't based on my age. How I wish people were more understanding that anyone can have health issues and how these can affect a persons life.

But, if I'm wishing for anything, how I wish my body wasn't so weak and pathetic at only 17.

--- Aimee ---