Reliance Is No Weakness

If I wasn't so damn tired right now I'd probably be a lot more annoyed than I am, hard to believe really because right now I am fucking pissed. I have just seen yet another 'you don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy' or it was along those shitty lines anyway and I am absolutely fed up. I am so done with all this fucking rubbish.

No, no, no. I am so fucking done, my hatred towards this is so bloody strong and I have fucking snapped. Not trying to be one of those 'don't say that you'll offend someone' people who don't let anyone say anything anymore but seriously, don't say people don't need a partner to be happy because you will offend someone. When you tell someone you're upset or sad because the significant person in your life hasn't messaged you do you know how degrading it feels to be called stupid, to be called too reliant, to be called weak.

That's what you're doing. People don't survive on their own, they thrive off of things around them. Give people a fucking break, please, I'm begging you. Yes I know it's not great that people put all their time into one person but do you think they want to? Do you think they want the everlasting pain when they're not talking to them, when they have to be away from them, when the relationship or friendship finishes?

Think about it now, to be honestly and genuinely happy what do you need? Do you literally just need yourself and nothing else? No, I didn't think so. You need friends or great music or brilliant films or a hobby or an obsession, you may be able to survive on your own but why just survive when you can live?

When you tell people they don't or shouldn't need other people to be happy, what you are really saying is 'you should be able to be without them, you are weak if you rely on them too much'. But, no one exists as aa pure form of themselves. Each friend you make creeps their way into your  everyday life, maybe you begin to speak like them, grow an interest in what they like, spend your time with them.

Maybe it's not the 'relationship' status that people need maybe it's another person. I need people and Sam provides me with the attention and comfort and safety I need. All these years I've believed that I needed a boyfriend to make me happy and I am not wrong, I do need him. The reason for it has developed though, it's not the 'boyfriend' label that I've needed, it's someone who is there no matter what, someone I can depend on, someone I can relax with.

Before Sam there were other people who I deeply invested my time in, many of whom are now gone. So no, its not the status but the feeling. A feeling of security and love and comfort. It may not be another human who you invest your time into, maybe its a band or a show but you still need that or else you feel empty, right? Who the fuck cares if it's a person or not? Sure its not the safest option, if you're emotion is invested in a tv show you don't exactly have to live with the fear with it leaving or no longer being there, it always will.

It's not weak, don't you dare tell someone they shouldn't rely so heavily on another person. How they fuck do you know what they've been through. Songs and tv shows cover a lot of major issues but sometimes you just can't do anything in the world to help ease or mirror the pain/situations you've been through.

I'm so so so sick of seeing all these bloody posts, degrading those of us who do rely on others, diminishing our worth because of it. Please stop it. I understand that it's one of those situations where if you haven't been through it or aren't like that its hard to understand but please understand it hurts. It really hurts to have your reliance on others to be directly related to your value.

Maybe you're lucky enough to be one of those people whose happiness is shared among many, that's great. That means that when one thing goes badly or ends there are still plenty more things out there to stop you being drowned by this life, something keeping you afloat. In a way it means you're safe, safe from the danger of being alone and vulnerable. But, if you aren't one of those 'independent' people then please don't belittle those who are, please.

No matter who you need in your life, I promise you it doesn't make you weak. You are strong and you are amazing and you should be bloody proud of yourself.

--- Aimee ---