Results Day

This morning I woke up to the typical 'good morning' text from Jack feeling anxious and rough. I hadn't been drinking, I had another reason to feel rough; I had slept awful. Why? Because today was results day and my body wanted me too know that, waking me up at 1am and again at 5.

7:40 was way too early for my body to even think about getting up but I forced myself to. I needed to get into school both for my own results but also to be supportive for my friends.

I was going to write this blog post but I didn't in fear of jinxing myself for the big day (that just sounds like I'm getting married; I'm not). But it would have made little difference, I got the results I was expecting which eased the sharp pain of disappointed I could have felt.

Thankfully I wasn't alone so I was able to laugh about the fact I got a U on one (of the two) exams I did. It didn't bother me, not anywhere near as much as it should have but I think it's better that way.

It's not because I was happy with getting a U. Of course I was annoyed (and can I just point out that I got a D in the subject overall so, actually, it wasn't that bad.) But yesterday I made myself adopt a positive attitude towards receiving my results. Worse case scenario I would have to retake two exams (shout out to English Lit for not being split into AS and A Level).

Two exams isn't the end of the world. If I had to resit two exams the world would still keep spinning, people would still die, it wouldn't really matter.

I think I needed this, to put a perspective on life (woah that sounds deep) to ensure my own sanity when I opened that dreaded envelope.

Despite the D that stood out on my results sheet (is that what it's called? I have no idea) there was another result which probably assisted my lack of worry. That result was a miraculous A which I was over the moon with. I'm still in shock that I could get an A (like seriously, cut the joke now, A's are not my thing.)

I've been on such a high all day (a personal pride high is legal don't worry). And it's (oddly) made me really excited for Year 13 and University (pft what a nutter). I'm just so extremely happy that sometimes hard work really pays off. I was so nervous of expecting an A (it seemed pretty ambitious despite how confident I felt with the subject) in fear that I would get nothing more than a C.

I think the most important thing that today has taught me is that believing in myself can be a worrying thing but that maybe I'm not always as awful at things as I first assume. And maybe that's just about the best lesson I could ever teach myself.

--- Aimee ---