It was alcohol fuelled. Very.
It was fun and I danced, a lot.
It wasn't the night itself that was awful; it was the people. Me and Grace quickly became targets (too strong a word?) for the men looking for a hook up.
I was not their girl.
I did appreciate being left alone after they discovered that, actually, I was not on the market tonight. What I didn't appreciate was the two hours of dancing which happened before they cared to ask about my relationship status. And when they did ask it wasn't me they asked, it was Grace.
I did want to be that girl that tells every guy that so much as breathes in her direction that actually, I've got a boyfriend. Neither did I want to be that girl who adopts a flirtatious manner to have a £4.40 double vodka and coke bought for her.
The night made me overly conscious. Was my friendliness coming across as flirting? Were they offering me a drink because they thought I was nice or because they wanted more? Was I worrying too much about nothing?
Was there actually anyone in here who was just being nice for the sake of being nice?
I wish I could have accepted a drink without the overarching fear that the minute they found out I wasn't single I would be accused of deceiving them. I wanted to take them up on their offer of a free drink but I didn't want to take them on their more subtle offer of 'I'll buy you a drink and we'll hook up yeah?.'
Not today thanks. Actually, not any day.
I didn't want to worry about the outcomes of being two girls out alone. I didn't want to fear for my own safety but I did. And I couldn't shake the feeling that had we been with guys as we usually are, this would not have happened. I wouldn't have felt a target, I wouldn't have been so worried to have fun.
Luckily this occurrence is a rarity for me as most of my nights are largely worry (and creepy guy) free besides the odd bum grab and drunk compliment. But that's just the price you pay for having the audacity to go out and enjoy yourself isn't it?
--- Aimee ---
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