Truck Festival (Take 4)

Nearing the end of festival season in the UK, it is probably about time I got round to posting my annual Truck Festival piece.

2018 marked my fourth year attending the Oxford based festival and once again, the weekend was brilliant as ever. If you happen to have read my reflection of Truck Festival 2017 you'll be happy to hear that this year held a lot fewer disasters, and a lot less rain.

Meeting no traffic or queuing upon reaching the festival site, we were in the campsite with our tent pitched by 11 am and, with three hours until the first act that myself and Katherine wished to see was on, there seemed to be only one solution; start drinking.

And the drinking continued all weekend (within limits of course). At times, it appeared all day drinking would be my only solution for my severe tiredness and lack of energy which dancing and lack of sleep had presented me with.

Despite weather worries in the weeks beforehand that this might be the first rainy weekend in what feels like months here in the UK. Thankfully it was only Friday that we saw any rain - even if it was the heaviest downpour I've seen in a while. The rest of the weekend was a scorcher making the number one phrase of the weekend 'it's too hot'. Because it was too hot; too hot to sleep, too hot to sit outside, too hot to stay in the tent, too hot not to exclaim that it was just too hot.

Music wise, prior to doing my own background research following the line up announcement, I had no idea about many of the bands who were due to perform. There would be no Neck Deep, no Creeper, no Slaves - no bands who I have previously been a big fan of. However, the music did not disappoint as I was met by the likes of George Ezra, The Courteeners, The Night Cafe, Nervus, The Amazons, Everything Everything, Tom Walker and The Magic Gang; all of whom performed wonderful sets across the weekend.

There was great food again this year; the return of the Veggie and Vegan van, a noodle bar, a breakfast bar - all helping me to function through the alcohol related and sleep deprived tiredness which clung to me the entire weekend.

I may have burnt on day one and I may have been uncomfortably hot the whole weekend but I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. See you next July Truck.

--- Aimee ---

A Perspective on Perspiration

Growing up with sport at the heart of my family - both myself and my brother were named after sportsperson's - I believe I was always destined to find enjoyment in at least one sport. Fortunately for my family, I didn't stop at one. In eighteen years I found myself taking part in a variety of activities including gymnastics, dance, trampolining, hockey, rounders, badminton and netball.

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In spite of the revolutionary 'This Girl Can' and '#LikeAGirl' campaigns, it appears there is still some overarching stigmas around female participation in sport. This became clear to me while browsing New Look's sale online a few months back, only to come across an item of sportswear carrying the slogan 'I don't sweat I sparkle!'

Okay, I dislike sweat as much as the next person but come on, are you really going to deny that physical activity doesn't make you sweat? Of course it isn't the most pleasant thing in existence but it happens, it happens to us all.

It really is no wonder girls - particularly of secondary school age - fear how they might be seen if not looking their best 24/7 and that, of course, means not participating in sport, not showing their abilities and not exercising as they should.

Just recently in the PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, snowboarder Chloe Kim was reported to have 'worked so hard on [her] eyeliner', begging the question as to why females even consider - or feel as though they should consider - applying makeup before taking part in sport. Sport isn't supposed to be about looks, it is supposed to be about ability.

It wouldn't be revolutionary of me to say that society is far too focused on the beauty expectations of women, that is a fact that we already know. But, why must looks even be a factor when it comes to sport? Sport is for you, for your own gain; whether that's winning a match or gaining fitness.

If I don't sweat during a period of exercise I worry. I want to sweat. I want to feel the gain of exercise and to feel good that I am achieving something. But sweating doesn't just come with exercise, it comes with everyday activities making the concept of sweat being gross even more bizarre considering most of us do it most of the time.

In 2018 can we please stop acting like women shouldn't sweat. We do sweat; a lot. Our boobs sweat, our butts sweat, our legs sweat, our faces sweat.

If you want us all to be these absolute goddesses with flat stomachs and toned bodies due to intense gym workouts, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but there will be a lot of sweat involved.

--- Aimee ---

A New Start

With my first semester at university having reached completion last month, now seems a good a time as any to reflect on the wild ride of the short first three months at university.

Well, I say a wild ride but there was very little of my experience that I would personally categorise as 'wild'. So maybe instead I should say that I am about to reflect on the largely tame ride of my university experience.

My tame uni ride began on September 16th when I moved 100 miles across the country to begin a new life with complete strangers. Strangers who soon became my close friends even if our first encounter was perhaps not the best introduction.

So many people around me told me how much they loved and missed home and I really wanted to relate but I found that, for me, being away from home was the best thing I could've done. Adopting an adult form of independence I managed to develop new skills (cooking risotto is a skill right?), make friends and be a different person.

No one at uni needed to know my past (although it probably took me a whole two drinks to tell them all anyway) and I was free to be me, even if I hadn't quite figured out who exactly that was yet.

And I won't lie and say that uni has so far changed my life drastically but little by little it's getting there. I'm being the better me that I've wanted to be for a while and it's given me the clean slate I needed to try new things.

My biggest learning curve since leaving my small town to start university has nothing to do with being homesick or missing my beloved dtap (yes, I really do love that place). Instead, the best lesson I have learnt is that the world is full of a lot of very different people (and some of them are really old - like how am I one of the few 18 year olds I know at uni, this wasn't how it was supposed to be.)


I know that everyone says the best part of uni is the friends you make (or the nightlife. I mean what? who said that?) but it really, truly is. I've had a blast being the best (and worst) version of me and apparently people like me so I must be doing something right.

I've found the most supportive people who enjoy my writing (or so they tell me) and it has helped me, even in the short term, to become a better and more confident writer - something I have aspired to be for a while now.

While Newbury isn't the worst place in the world (sorry Beardy, but I actually like it here), I cannot wait to be back in Canterbury at the weekend, continuing to live my best life with some of my favourite people. Semester two, lets do this.

--- Aimee ---

Reviewing the Year: 2017

Typing this with heavy eyes from a lengthy crying session, it's hard to believe that this year was good, even if I am fully aware of all the positive things which happened in 2017. (At least for me anyway, the world as a whole hasn't been so lucky.)

At the beginning of the year I was hopeful that, some day in the future, I would be able to look back and say 'yeah, 2017 was my year'. In many ways I truly believe it has been my year; so many great things have happened and I'm so grateful for each one.

In 2017 I passed my driving theory and practical tests, I finished my A-Levels with A*BB and subsequently won two subject awards because of this. I turned 18 which allowed me to vote in the election as well as spending many, many nights out clubbing with my friends.

In September I moved two and a half hours away from home to begin university doing a course I adore which allowed me to meet so many new wonderful people. And I got to spend all of the past 12 months with my wonderful boyfriend who helped make each achievement happen.

I wish I could say that 2017 was the year I read a lot but, sadly, it wasn't to be. I did read a little however, and what I read was fantastic. I began the year by finishing Orwell's 1984, later investing in Suffragette: My Own Story, A Clockwork Orange and The Burial at Thebes. More recently I began Huxley's Brave New World and Rupi Kaur's Milk and Honey.

I watched a number of beautiful and fantastic films including; The Time Travellers Wife, What  Happened to Monday?, London Has Fallen, Paper Towns, Love Actually (I know, it's taken me 14 years to watch, I really am a terrible Brit), 127 Hours (bit too much blood for my liking) and The Holiday.

As usual, I attended a number of events this year (mainly musical) as I saw All Time Low in March, Creeper also in March and later in December, Frank Turner in July, Scouting for Girls in November, Steps later that month and Veridian a total of four times throughout the year. I enjoyed a music filled weekend in Oxford at Truck Festival for my third year running and attended a number of Reading FC matches including a trip to Wembley on May Bank Holiday weekend.

I was lucky enough to have a total of four holidays this year, all with my favourite person in the world. I got to visit; Weymouth, Torquay, Croyde and, my favourite, Kos.

So all in all, I guess 2017 has been a pretty good one. Maybe it wasn't quite as expected but, my god, I achieved a lot. Going into 2018 surrounding by my best friends, I can only hope that this next year is half as good as this one has been.

So here's to another year of success, may it be nothing short of incredible.

                                                               --- Aimee ---

Flirty Freshers

Three weeks into university life I can safely say the experience has been incredible. I have made some lovely friends and great memories already and I am so excited that this is just the beginning of  such an exciting journey. My few contact hours for my course has allowed me just enough time to enjoy my studies and also explore the wonderful city of Canterbury.

Obviously when people think of moving to university there is often one huge thing to look forward to; freshers. Being in a club is fun, I love spending the night dancing and drinking, is there really anything better in life? But the club based environment which freshers largely focuses on means the week doesn't come without hindrances, primarily from guys.

Don't get me wrong I am a very guy oriented kind of gal. As much as I criticise and moan, I largely favour them to girls (hence having very few female friends.) But this preference has proved an issue to me since starting university; how do you become friends with a guy?

In my life guys have always kind of just been there, I haven't had to go out my way they have just always been around. I haven't had to send friendly messages to weave my way and gain their friendship, well not in recent years anyway. So how the heck do people do it? How do you find the fine line between friendliness and flirtatiousness? What is too friendly?

But my initial worry when I moved here a mere three weeks ago wasn't the guys, it was the lack of them. I found myself moving into an all girl flat and I won't lie, I panicked. Forget the guys, how do you become friends with girls?

Now I realise that I was worried about nothing as girls are lovely. They are especially lovely on a night out; whether its copying your dance moves so you aren't so embarrassed or bumping into you after meeting you the night before and acting like you're BFF's.

Three weeks later I think I'm finding the right balance of friendliness and not worrying too much about guys being a hassle.

There's no point in worrying too much. I'm not going to stop having maximum enjoyment because I'm scared how one person might take. I'm still going to dance and sing and drink, but most of all I'm going to enjoy myself as much as I can because that's what uni is all about, right?

--- Aimee ---

Education Envy

A week on from A-Level Results Day Eve it seems only too apt to dedicate a blog post to defending my subjects, something which I have had to do many times over the past two years. I don't regret my choices (bar AS Computing, c'mon Aimee, really?) but I despise the social stigma surrounding certain subjects.

There a clear divide in the education system, there are two types of subject; real ones and easy ones. Don't know which category you fall into? It's simple really, any subject remotely creative (drama, dance, textiles, media etc.) is an 'easy' choice and 'doesn't count' as a real A-Level. However, anything that requires actual brain power is socially acceptable and if you fail it doesn't matter because 'gosh that must be hard'.

As a student who spent two years studying English Literature, Media Studies and Travel and Tourism, I know only too well that, yes A-Levels are hard but a struggle in a 'lesser' subject will not be treated the same as a struggle in Biology, Maths, Physics etc.

I don't want to reverse the social norm and throw subjects typically viewed as more intellectual under the bus but can us creative bunch have some recognition too please? I am fed up with having to defend the creative industry time and time again and I haven't even started my creative degree yet.

The bottom line is A-Levels are hard, bloody hard. The whole experience is an intense and stressful time; you end up crying over lost coloured pens and then resorting to a simple 'oh well' shrug when you screw up an exam.


Some A-Levels are easier than others but easier is all they are. They are not easy.

Slating certain subjects and praising others only creates a harmful divide between the geniuses and those who can't get straight A's in their A-Levels. There is always going to be a need for creativity; whose going to write and record your favourite television shows if you keep telling people that Media isn't a real subject? I'm afraid you can't have it both ways.

Unfortunately major subjects like Maths will always come out on top and there will always be 'lesser' subjects but more credit needs to be given to creative students so they don't feel like they've wasted their years in subjects that just don't count.

Workload needs to be understood. Media isn't simply watching television and English Literature isn't just reading the odd book. They are real subjects which require just as much hard work and studying as the next subject.

Next time you come home from a hard day of work in the computer/maths/science industry feeling superior because of your chosen path don't switch on the television, don't read a book and don't read a newspaper.

Sorry to burst your bubble but you need us creative lot to provide your entertainment, something we will stop doing if you are constantly discouraging our education choices.

--- Aimee ---

Truck Festival (Take 3)

Oh Truck Festival here we are again and once again you were a dream. A wet, muddy and miserable dream perhaps but a dream nonetheless.

We met this time without the accompaniment of a responsible adult to aid me through the weekend. Ok I lied, that's not strictly true, there was a responsible adult but that adult was me. Maybe a responsible adult would have been a good idea when I was chucking my guts up on Saturday night after too much vodka, but I guess you live and you learn.

This year was a different from my previous sunny, family orientated, casual drinking Truck experiences; the sun decided to take a break, the heavens opened and alas the mud began. After hours of rain on the Friday afternoon, I was no longer hopeful that the weekend would be as idealistic and wonderful as I had imagined.

The weekend somehow surpassed my previous high expectations despite the many, many, many things which went wrong. A leaking and broken tent, lakes of mud, a wet pillow (soon replaced with a muddy one), throwing up, a broken phone charger, running through mud to get to First Aid only to get lost on the way back, being wet/cold/miserable, a stolen camping chair (which was covered in sick so I guess it could've been worse), an overcrowded dance tent and dragging my friends to see Slaves only for them to end up in a mosh pit despite my encouragement that our positioning would be fine. Oh, not to mention our car almost getting stuck upon leaving the festival on Monday.

I won't go on because there were positives; they were far and few between but there were some. The weather was awful and moods were low but the people I was with saved the day; the friends I made upon offering a allergy relief tablet, the lost festival goers who we adopted into our camp, the stranger who gave me a hug when Slaves encouraged people to hug their friends and I was alone.

My friends made it all worthwhile.

Maybe the whole weekend didn't go to plan but had I not gone I wouldn't have seen Kat's happiness at seeing The Vaccines perform nor would I have got to be in my absolute element as The Wombats played 'Let's Dance To Joy Division'. 

I wouldn't have discovered Hot 8 Brass Band (cheers Grace) or Will Joseph Cook. 

I wouldn't have seen Superfood perform 'You Can Believe' or have seen The Vaccines perform 'All In White'.

Had I not gone I wouldn't have had the nicest vegan curry nor would I have tried vegan pizza.

Yes it was wet, muddy, cold and a complete disaster but I loved (almost) every minute of it and most of all I got to spend the weekend with some of the nicest people I have met. Truck, it was a pleasure as always. Thank you.

--- Aimee ---

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

I recently embarked on my first non-male assisted night out and it was wond-awful. Yes it was both; neither terrible nor brilliant (sorry Grace I did have a good time I promise!)

It was alcohol fuelled. Very.

It was fun and I danced, a lot.

It wasn't the night itself that was awful; it was the people. Me and Grace quickly became targets (too strong a word?) for the men looking for a hook up.

I was not their girl.

I did appreciate being left alone after they discovered that, actually, I was not on the market tonight. What I didn't appreciate was the two hours of dancing which happened before they cared to ask about my relationship status. And when they did ask it wasn't me they asked, it was Grace.

I did want to be that girl that tells every guy that so much as breathes in her direction that actually, I've got a boyfriend. Neither did I want to be that girl who adopts a flirtatious manner to have a £4.40 double vodka and coke bought for her.

The night made me overly conscious. Was my friendliness coming across as flirting? Were they offering me a drink because they thought I was nice or because they wanted more? Was I worrying too much about nothing?

Was there actually anyone in here who was just being nice for the sake of being nice?

I wish I could have accepted a drink without the overarching fear that the minute they found out I wasn't single I would be accused of deceiving them. I wanted to take them up on their offer of a free drink but I didn't want to take them on their more subtle offer of 'I'll buy you a drink and we'll hook up yeah?.'

Not today thanks. Actually, not any day.

I didn't want to worry about the outcomes of being two girls out alone. I didn't want to fear for my own safety but I did. And I couldn't shake the feeling that had we been with guys as we usually are, this would not have happened. I wouldn't have felt a target, I wouldn't have been so worried to have fun.

Luckily this occurrence is a rarity for me as most of my nights are largely worry (and creepy guy) free besides the odd bum grab and drunk compliment. But that's just the price you pay for having the audacity to go out and enjoy yourself isn't it?

--- Aimee ---

Election Antics

A few months back I turned 18 meaning a world of possibilities had opened up for me. There were many things which I could now do to fully embrace my new found adulthood and one of them was the ability to vote.

With a snap election called earlier on in the year, my ears pricked up that, for the first time, I would be having a say in the future I wanted for my country. Living in a house where neither of my parents vote I was very much alone in my almost sudden interest in politics.

I (not so quickly) got to work researching different parties and their aims for the UK as well as looking at likely outcomes in my area. Tactical voting became a likelihood and I considered the option of sparking a local change rather than a national one.

Politics often causes a social divide and this election proved no different. The country was essentially split in two; those who had a rather traditional view of Britain and those who embraced the chance of a more modern approach to social issues. Or, more simply; conservatives and labour.

One thing I have learned from the election is that the older generation are never happy. There will be disappointed when only 65% of youth voters turn out to have their say. Then, when record numbers of 18-24 year olds do have their say, they will speak of brainwashing and a lack of understanding.

They will complain about the source of your information and dispute the fact that Theresa May isn't the wicked witch people see her as despite her views on foxes, the poor, LGBT communities, young people and immigrants. Remind me how this is simply the media being biased? Would it not perhaps be worse for the media to portray a candidate as a incapable clown purely because they fear change?

The dominant idea that the election was merely a two horse race was a dangerous one. Correct nationally but not regionally. Being labelled a 'plastic' Labour supporter for choosing tactical voting over wasting my vote by people who wouldn't be able to place Newbury on a map was not my finest hour. Why would I be willing to vote for the party who, last election, had fewer votes than UKIP, a party who shared only 10% of the vote?

One of the great thrills of the general election was the results (not forgetting of course #dogsatpollingstations). The sheer buzz of Labour winning safe Tory seats, Newcastle beating Sunderland to the voting declaration, seeing 208 women win their seats. Next election, I urge to stay up and watch just some of it, it is thrilling. And if I can get 3 hours sleep and proceed to get an A on a past paper the following day then you do not need to be worried about being tired (naps exist for a reason.)

Personally, the election did not work in my favour. My constituency remained a Conservative seat with 61% of the votes, giving no chance to either the Liberal Democrats nor Labour. Despite this, local turnout was at it's highest since 1997 with 73.4% making their way to their polling station to cast their vote, a figure which made me immensely proud.

A more hopeful result was Canterbury (where I am hoping to be come September) which saw a Labour win for the first time since the constituency was formed 99 years ago. Of course this is likely to be down to the fact that Canterbury is 70% students, the biggest demographic targeted in Labour's campaign.

Sadly, all the excitement and adrenaline that came with the election is now over. All the Corbyn hype, the Tory bashing, the political debates (of which my dad watched purely because he found it funny to watch people arguing with each other). It's going to be one hell of a long five year wait.

That's if we don't end up doing this all again in a few months time, and I for one wouldn't object.

--- Aimee ---

The Hierarchy of Retail

In a world full of competing females on Instagram with there perfect bodies and their trendy clothes you won't find me in the nearest Topshop. Instead I'll be hiding in my comfort zone; the sale section of New Look.

The hierarchy of retail is something which baffles me; if you're not buying the latest eye shadow palette for £30 then you're not fashionable. If you're not buying the latest laced top which 80% of females now own then you're not fashionable. If you don't rejig your wardrobe every few months, keeping only the trendy items then sorry, you're not fashionable.

But who defines what's fashionable to me? Surely, the simple answer is me.

Of course we each have our preferences of where we want to shop otherwise Tesco and Sainsbury's would dominate the fashion industry.

Fashion is one thing, sure I would like to be deemed fashionable but the question is can I actually afford it?

Why spend £20 on a jumper when I could wait a while and get it in the sale for £10? It is rare that I splash my cash on clothes costing more than £15 as a regular occurrence but as always there are exceptions. Last November I found myself parting with £22 for the sake of an absolutely gorgeous black jumpsuit.

It was very much a love at first sight kind of buy; a rarity in my life. Many retail encounters makes me second guess the price and often leads to the sad and lonely walk to return the clothing to the rail.

But I would rather return items there and then than take them home, put them in my wardrobe and never wear them again.

But I would rather that than purchasing the latest must-have buy for the sake of being deemed hip (if hip can even be considered a compliment anymore, am I just living in the 1990's?)

And don't even get me started on the trend of online shopping. How the damn hell am I meant to know if that dress on boohoo.com fits me or not? How do I know the ASOS top isn't going to far too tight on my boobs to actual be acceptable to wear?

Online shopping, for me, is one big no.

Despite my everlasting love for the New Look sales (which isn't a bad thing to love because when it leaves you it's only for a few weeks before the next season's sale is on) there is one thing which I will forever love just that little bit more; charity shops (sorry Jack).

Ok it might not be the things you're looking for or what you need but who actually leaves a shop with only stuff they need anyway? Yes I'm talking about you £1.95 toast rack I purchased just last week.

Maybe one day I'll have the confidence (and money) to splash the cash and become a fashionista. But, in the meantime, the sale rails will do me just fine.

--- Aimee ---

Two Years Meat Free

'Don't you ever miss meat?'

'Blimey, I couldn't do that'

'But surely you eat fish?'

'You aren't really making a difference'

Welcome to this blog post that I am going to describe as 'things vegetarians are tired of hearing'.

As I embark upon my second year being vegetarian, I am becoming more and more aware of the issues, views and stigmas around the subject and, with this understanding I have complied a little list on some issues for for you to dwell upon.

Misusing the word 'vegetarian'
There is a lot of confusion surrounding the idea of vegetarianism which is largely due to a misuse of the word. Vegetarianism is simply defined as the practise of not eating fish or meat. However, vegetarian is used too broadly in society, often covering those who eat fish also.

Although less commonly known, there is word for this; pesciterian. Labelling those who consume fish products as vegetarians causes a lot of confusion among non-vegetarians. This misconception of the idea means that my restaurant experiences consists of me naming myself as a vegetarian and, when then offered the range of fish dishes on the menu, having to state that, actually, I don't eat fish either. Let's not talk about the restaurants which present fish dishes with the vegetarian 'V' next to them.

It shouldn't be this difficult, the word literally means no fish or meat. Stop. Offering. Me. Fish.

Questioning my decision
Some take the opportunity of my dietary preferences to decide for me what I should or shouldn't like/miss/feel. I have made a decision to be vegetarian. If at any point I wish to revert that decision I can.

Please stop asking me if I miss meat and am tempted to eat it again. It is none of your business that Christmas rolls around and pigs in blankets makes me regret giving up meat (for about 5 seconds before I remind myself that animals have been murdered and that is not right.)

If you are genuinely interested in my reasoning then please, ask away. However, if you are just going to mock me, belittle me and interrogate me then please stop wasting your time. If I ever decide to alter my decision it will be my choice and not because Jim in the pub told me I should.

Lack of choice
When I go out to restaurants of course I don't expect the entire menu to be meat and fish free but I do expect some choice. Please don't completely take away my ability to choose what I want to eat. Meat eaters can also opt for these options so please don't make them so limited. It seems almost laughable that Nandos, a restaurant specialising in chicken, has more to offer me than major chain restaurants.

And don't even get me started on the children's menus which exclusively offers meat dishes.

The pointlessness
You always get the pessimistic meat eaters who believe that you're fighting a lost cause and that no number of conversions to meat free diets will make a change. Or they belief that 'the animals will be killed anyway' so what does it matter if you eat them or not. But it does matter because less people purchasing meat means less demand for meat which means less meat being produced aka a change.

Maybe if Tesco were to advertise vegetarianism people would understand that 'every little helps'.

But you're assuming that I'm trying to make some global change. I know that everyone isn't going to stop eating meat tomorrow but because I think its wrong; I'm not the naive. I'm just trying to do my bit to be a better person and help out in any way I can.

Saving the planet would be nice but so would passing my a-levels; it's not top of my agenda right now.

The stereotypical vegetarian
As with any personal preference which distinguishes you from another person, there is no rule book on what you should be.

We won't call you out every time you chose meat over the veggie option (well not all of us anyway.) Of course sometimes it is necessary, after all if we don't make a stand how do we expect more people to become aware and change their ways?

We won't throw up at the sight of meat. As a waitress it would prove difficult if this were the case. I understand and respect that some people will chose to eat meat no matter what horrible stories you tell them and, just as it is no place for them to tell me what to do, it is no place for me to tell them what to do either.

And we don't all go around protesting animal testing and animal rights either. Sure, animal rights are important but there just aren't enough hours in the day. If people want to do that then be my guest but I'll do my bit by choosing the cheaper, meat free option from Pizza Express thanks.

Nor do we all think we are better simply because we cut out meat. Sure, we could be considered more caring, more aware but not altogether 'better'.

So please, please, please stop with the questions; it's my choice, not yours.

--- Aimee ---

Looking Back Over 18 Years

So here it is, my 18th birthday and how long I have waited for this moment.

The day of freedom, the day of adulthood...oh crap, I'm going to be an adult.

Part of me has been dreading this moment. A few weeks back I had a horrible realisation; I'm almost 18. That means that next year I'll be 19, then I'll be into my twenties. My twenties?? Are we sure this is right?

I'm pretty sure last year was 2012 and I was wasting the summer away with my first proper haircut and my obsession with powdered foundation.

And I'm almost certain that it wasn't that long ago that I was an innocent five year old in Disneyland Paris wearing my favourite purple coat.

Is it really time to grow up already? If I blast out Avril Lavigne's banger 'Here's To Never Growing Up' can I reclaim my childhood?

It hasn't been an easy ride but that's not to say it hasn't been fun. I've had a lot of fun.

3 hair colours, 7 countries and 18 concerts later and here I am, the big 1 8. Ready to fly the nest (in 5 months time.)

Can I approach this milestone by claiming the perks but not the responsibilities? Probably not. Will I try to anyway? Almost definitely.


I may have been waiting for this moment my whole life (ok, bit dramatic. Probably since I was 10 in reality) but I wish I could do it all again. The things I'm 'too old' for now. I want to be 8 and climbing trees, not 18 and sitting my A Levels.

At what point did I blink and fast forward my entire childhood?

I hope my next 18 years are just as magical although a bit less difficult (come on world, be nice to me please.)

I'm ready for the challenges ahead and the changes on the horizon.

I'm ready to become an adult. Ready to begin my life of limitless possibilities.

But I haven't always been ready. I've had to learn many lessons to get here. Poor 5 year old Aimee didn't know how tough this ride was going to be for her but she made it.

She flipping made it.

--- Aimee ---

Social Stigmas

Being a young person is hard. Exams are getting tougher, expectations are getting higher and mental health issues are on the increase.

It's not an easy ride through the teenage years of hormones, stress and changes. And it's made even more difficult by the numerous negative stereotypes and preconceived ideas society seem to have about us.

There are still some stigma's which are overly present in society.

We are all thugs 
The 2000's was a real breakthrough decade.

Flip phones, social media and pop groups galore.

Unfortunately it also saw the birth of the 'teenagers are all thugs' image which we have been desperately trying to shake ever since.

It seems to be fading out but that doesn't mean it's completely gone, not yet.

I'm getting more smiles from the elderly and less crossing-the-road-to-avoid-me occurrences.

But it's still an issue. At almost 18 years of age I am still scared of teenagers or, more specifically, groups of teenagers who look threatening. It's a stereotype which will not just disappear.

We can only hope to regain our positive place in society sometime in the near future and, maybe, with so many positive stories of teenagers outnumbering the negative ones, we are close to that place already.

Our opinions are not valid
Important issues such as politics deserve to have a secure place in everyday conversation. It's the type of thing you can't avoid so why try to?

In events such as Brexit or Donald Trump's election young people have had their say but, sadly, these opinions are often rejected by middle aged, middle class, white men who fear we 'lack education' or 'can't even vote yet'. But, just because we do not have the ability to vote it does not mean we can't have our own opinion. More commonly than not this opinion is based on our own research and understanding of important topics such as immigration, sexism and racism.

We are young, influential and, importantly, open minded. The changes in years to come will be our doing. The power is in our hands. It is our time.

If the case is you feel we are not properly educated maybe you should make a stand and attempt to change the system. A simple protest or petition here and there is bound to make some change even if just the publicity allowing more people to join your campaign.

Please don't blame us for not knowing about the 'bigger issues' when we are stuck in a classroom 5 days a week where these are not taught.

We are a burden
It's difficult to be a teen in this world and not feel like you are a massive problem to everyone.

A common example of this is the doctors. As a overly worried teenage girl I have several trips to the doctors each year, some quick, one minute appointments where they take my blood pressure and give me my tablets but others not so quick.

I may be the type of person to give a cheeky google of my symptoms and panic when I realise they are signs of some deadly disease which, in all likeliness i probably don't have. But google is my friend, especially when the alternative is facing the dreaded doctors surgery.

Each time I go I feel so insignificant; like I'm probably worrying about nothing. I feel a sense of disgust and a 'just get over it' vibe which means I probably won't be going back when I have a serious problem which needs addressing.

Relationships won't last
Yes I am young and yes, my relationship may not work out in the long run. But also, it might.

Please don't shove your 'you're young, things won't last' idea down my throat when you have not the slightest idea about how things are going. I appreciate your concern about not getting my hopes up and all that but sometimes maybe it doesn't need saying.

Not every teenage relationship is destined for failure and heartache, please leave me to suffer or celebrate in peace.

Stop the stereotyping of things you think you know about us and get to know us as individuals; our kindness might surprise you.

--- Aimee ---

Females in Football

Leggings. Jeans. Thermal. T-shirt. Jumper.

Coat. Hat. Scarf. Socks.

Another pair of socks.

You would think I was heading out to the Arctic with the multiple layers of warmth I dressed myself with a few weeks ago. But I'm afraid I'm not that adventurous.

No, these layers were my clothing choices prior to leaving the house to head in preparation to yet another (poorly attended) football game at the Madejski Stadium.

It was cold. Bitterly cold.

I found myself asking myself 'what am I doing here?' And I probably wasn't the only one thinking that. But the other people that were sharing my thought were not considering their own presence at the game; they were considering mine.

I'm a young, teenage girl at a football game, this isn't my place.

Photo Credits: Mark Beeley

Attending another game last night (who doesn't love a bit of Tuesday night football?) and I found I could not help but notice the severe lack of females. Or, to be more honest, the lack of females who wanted to go and weren't just tagging along because their partners wanted them there.

Because, unfortunately females are still in the minority when it comes to football matches. The committee itself is male dominated but does it need to be the same for the fans?

It's no wonder females often choose not to go, given the poor reputation of fouling, abusive language and behaviour associated with the game.

But, and here's the cliche; it's not that bad.

You won't go to a football match and be harassed or abused (at least not the games I go to). You won't be attacked due to your gender. You probably won't even be asked why you're there. You'll be accepted, but only after they've registered the idea that women can enjoy football too.

It's not everyone's idea of fun and it's certainly not ladylike but who said I ever wanted to be a 'lady' anyway? That doesn't sound like my idea of fun.

Time and time again I have found myself in the situation where, not only is knowledge on football not expected of me, it is treated with a shock reaction.

Yes I actually could name more than 10 football teams. Yes I could name more than 10 players. Yes I know that England will not be playing Liverpool in the World Cup.

No my knowledge is not perfect. I'm still a bit wobbly on the offside rule, I don't know all the players and I don't follow all of the team statistics and ratings. But that doesn't mean it doesn't interest me.

Football is not my life nor is it my priority each and everyday. I don't spend my days worrying about whose injured this time and how long for. Or how many points Reading need to be third. Or how other teams that I don't even care about are getting on.

Instead I spend my evenings catching up on last nights EastEnders and trying to understand what exactly Shakespeare meant by using an intense amount of animal imagery in King Lear. (Priorities!)

So, if you're going to judge my lack of football knowledge please do so on the basis that I don't follow the team news or the league table. Or the fact that I don't watch matches I miss on tv or catch them on the radio.

Judge me because I haven't paid attention to the new signing or change in ownership.

Don't judge me because I'm a woman.

I deserve to be here just as much as you do.

--- Aimee ---

For Better or For Worse

So a few weeks ago myself and my dear friend Sam (sorry this isn't the appreciation post I promised you) were reading a number of petitions on change.org (sign up if you haven't already, it is brilliant.)

A quick overview of change.org. It's basically a site where you can create, browse and sign a number of different petitions and really feel like you're making a change. You can also read all the success stories which really do brighten your day because there are actually good people in the world (I know, shocking right?)

Now I'm not an expert so I am not aware of the inns and outs of civil partnerships. But, I am fairly well educated on society and it's treatment of various minorities against the majorities.

So among the many posts about the government or the NHS or some woman who wants to help her daughter get the treatment she needs, one specific petition caught my attention.

When I saw the title 'Open civil partnerships to all' I got excited. I was anticipating a rant-style article about the discrimination of the LGBT community in society. I hoped it would be an article than would fuel me with rage and think to myself  'hell yeah this is an important cause, I'm going to give it a sign'.

Unfortunately I was wrong. The article was not pro-LGBT nor was it trying to be. The article was all about the prejudice against straight people (because we all know that clearly exists, God I hate it when I'm attacked for being straight. Oh wait...)

A couple wanted a civil partnership but this had been denied as they were not a same sex couple. They felt this was wrong and decided (for some odd reason) to start a petition to aid their case.

Sadly the petition has been signed by 71,000 people. That means that 71,000 people truly believe that straight people (in this case) are being discriminated against. 71,000 people have basically outed that gay rights are no more important than straight rights.

Despite the idiotic nature of this petition, there is one piece of the write up which I can understand. The female felt as though marriage is a patriarchal idea which limits women's rights and allows women to be objectified which is a fair enough point but does not justify the bizarre issue this couple are offended by.

So basically, two people (and 71,000 more) have decided that the title which many LGBT people were forced to settle with because they did not have the option of the luxurious status of marriage.

It is like saying that you're not happy with someone being in benefits and feel that you should also get this money as that would be fair even though you're earning £50,000 a year. It's complaining that someone has different treatment because they have always been discriminated against and now have the rights they have fought for and thoroughly deserve.

It is white, heterosexual people complaining about being discriminated against without knowing what discrimination actually is.

--- Aimee ---

Goodbye 2016

As 2016 draws to a close this evening it seems only appropriate to reflect on the year we are leaving behind.

Many believe 2016 has been the 'worst year ever' and, sure, plenty of bad things have happened, need I mention Trump, Brexit or Syria?

Politically the UK made a (poor) decision to leave the EU while in the US Trump was elected President by the people (although which people I remain unsure). Musically the world lost pop icons David Bowie, Prince and George Micheal along with many more. There were countless terror attacks globally along with the continuation of wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria.

However, social media hasn't held all bad news, many people have been focusing on the good things that happened this year (yes, believe it or not there were some) and that's the best way to look at things isn't it? Sure, you can't ignore the bad, but you can embrace the positivity and it all becomes a lot easier to deal with.

So, in case you think this was the year the world fell apart here are some positives to take from 2016;
- Sri Lanka is now a malaria free country
- Giant pandas are no longer endangered
- Africa is free from Ebola
- SeaWorld stopped the breeding of captive killer whales
- the Ozone layer is repairing itself
- the 2016 Olympics featured the first ever refugee team

There have been many tragedies this year but if we had equal coverage for all the good things this year then maybe people wouldn't think 2016 was as bad as they claim. But I am not going to be brought down by the negatives of the year because, for me, it has been a good one, a very good one.

I will happily welcome the new year but I am in no rush to leave this year behind. I have had plenty of wonderful memories with people whose presence makes my day.

2016 was the year I began learning to drive. The year I got four universities offers in a week. The year I got to spend 10 months with my wonderful boyfriend. The year I became close to some extraordinary people who have helped me in ways I could never have imagined. The year I welcomed my baby cousin into the world. The year I achieved an A in one of my AS subjects. The year I signed up to being a blood donor. The year I got to see two of the most important people in my life go to university. The year one of my best friends gave birth. The year I got to spend Truck Festival weekend with my dad. The year I saw West Ham play at Upton Park for a final time.

It was the year I read some wonderful books (The Girl On The Train, The Handmaid's Tale, The Kite Runner, Revolutionary Road) and watched some brilliant films (Trainspotting, Legally Blonde, 13 Going on 30, Big Fish, Still Alice, The Help). It was the year I finally finished The Reader and finally started 1984. It was the year I once again attended the always brilliant Truck Festival and saw Neck Deep, Blossoms and Slaves in concert. It was the year I saw The BFG, The Revenant and The Girl on The Train at the cinema.

It was a year that I happily got to spend with so many wonderful people.

It was a year full of laughter and love. 2017 I'm ready for you.

--- Aimee ---

Pitfalls

Monday 21st November marked the third time in a little over a year that I saw Slaves live.

I'll admit I wasn't overly excited; after all this was the third time I was seeing them, I knew what to expect.

I'd seen the set list a few days before. I knew they would play Debbie Where's Your Car? I knew they would play The Hunter and Cheer Up London. I knew they would play the majority of songs from their new album Take Control which I had wisely began listening to a whole two days before the gig (there's nothing like being prepared eh?)

There were few surprises on the day. Isaac performed the majority of the set shirtless. The pit was full of young people whereas the outer layer of the crowd were generally people above 40. The atmosphere was insane.

But if I learnt one thing on Monday it was this; mosh pits look way more fun than they are.

I'm sure that is not always the case. For example, I am sure that if you're a teenage to early twenties, fairly muscular, above average height male it's great. Unfortunately for someone of a below average height who has little to her, I struggled. I really struggled.

I survived a whole two songs in the pit (which was pretty good going for me I thought) before I began to panic due to a severe lack of space and air.

I was beginning to severely overheat and had already been pushed to the ground countless times. My tactic of grabbing whichever person around me looked most stable had helped but not altogether stopped my falls.

By this point I had lost Bella (who I was with up until mid-way through the first song) and was completely alone. But this didn't bother me; I was absolutely fine being alone and I wasn't expecting to be with Bella the whole time anyway.

My cute and punk looking space buns were failing me. I was covered in sweat; both mine and other peoples. I was thankful for choosing shorts and fishnet tights as opposed to my ripped jeans. It was not my finest hour.

I saw a tweet the other day about a fan who experienced the 'crowd from hell' along with a response that she 'couldn't handle' the gig. There were many comments about how she should have expected this atmosphere for the concert she was attending along with many highly unsympathetic comments regarding her experience.

This wasn't the case with me. I knew what I was letting myself in for - well I kind of knew - after all no one had specifically told me that I would be crushed between 6ft guys and knocked to the ground more times than was necessary but you live and learn.

I'm not bitter, I'm just not so sure it was for me.

--- Aimee ---

The Social Media Age

The world in which we live in is very different today than it was 10 - 20 years ago.

So much change captivating the world. A lot of the change which has occurred over the past few decades has been regarding technology and, in more recent times, social media.

When I was 12 my two main forms of communication was BBM and MSN. Social media meant talking with your friends in a way that wasn't texting. It meant changing your personal message to how you were feeling and changing your name to include whichever of your friends you happened to be with followed by a heart emoji that you had to copy from someone else's BBM name.

Nowadays 12 year olds have everything; Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram. This isn't a 'I was never allowed these things when I was that age' rant because these sites simply did not exist, either that or they were not mainstream. Maybe social media wasn't what it is now but I for one am glad. I'm glad the only social media embarrassment I get is from my 2012 Facebook posts about how great my day was with my bffs and not from a 2013 Instagram post where I now realise I look utterly ridiculous in my crop top on a far from summers day.

Unfortunately the rise of social media has led to the downfall of our honesty.

Instagram is a prime example for this and I am a victim of the lies. Scrolling through my feed on a regular basis means relationship posts of how perfect a persons relationship is despite only recently getting back together following their third split. It means seeing the gorgeous views of someone's holiday somewhere exotic. It means seeing how flawless a person looks and leads to you thinking 'wow they are so much prettier than I will ever be'.

But most of all, it means a carefully selected group of photos which allows an outside to view your life as perfect. Or as indie. Or as picturesque.

I don't see these posts and question the people behind it. I accept what is put in front of me. I believe that these people really have perfect lives and I fear that this will never be me.

In a bitter, happy-loathing way, I want to see the negatives. I want to see the fights, the 3am sadness, the upset. I want to see that people are still human; that it's not just me having a bad time.

Because no one wants to admit that life is crap. It's an unfortunate fact of life that not everyone wants to accept. It's not because they are self-loving, positive hippies, it's because, in a world where you get to choose what others see, why choose the bad stuff?

It's dangerous; convincing yourself that life has to be an endless stream of great, Instagram worthy events. You'll fool yourself into believing that it isn't living that is important but the physical representation of it which exists through your social media accounts.

Obviously you can't let people know everything about your life (unless you're on of those annoying people who literally takes to Facebook for anything from a Chinese takeaway to your opinions on this weeks Strictly Come Dancing) which is where social media really is our friend. Only highlighting to good or the bad and not fussing over those boring and uninteresting days we all have more often than we'd like to admit.

But there is one thing which saves me from the despair of immaculate Instagram posts with a group of friends who I don't have, the Facebook check ins to exotic destinations, the posey and more-happy-than-it-is-actually-possible-to-be Snapchats and that is Twitter.

Whether its reading new theories on The Missing, finding out the latest drama in someone's friend's-sister's-daughter's love life or reading debates between feminists and meninists, Twitter truly is your guy (let's just assume Twitter is male.) Whatever the use, Twitter is entertaining, informative, amusing and, above all, it is honest.

Twitter for many acts as their safe haven; a place they can express their emotions no matter how dark and negative as well as sharing their best days. Who wouldn't want to see how especially positive someone is feeling today, does it not just fil you with joy?

Brutal honesty is a commonly seen thing, posts are littered with others giving their opinion, there are fewer lies.

If you were to scroll down my Twitter feed it would largely consist of tweets about the following: dogs, Jack, my blog, feminism (in one form or another), recent news stories, my friends, my family, music, films or books. Because that's who I am, away from the perfectly portrayed life on Instagram.

Twitter is the harsh reality of the social media world. Not everything is glorified; it doesn't need to be, people on Twitter don't expect a romanticised idea of life. It's the real world. Or as close to the real world you can access in the modern age.

The growth of social media has altered our values, our expectations. There no longer is any point in talking about mundane, daily occurrences. Importance now lies within how your strengths are promoted and your flaws are kept hidden, developing a frightening world where perfection is dominant and making mistakes is shunned, forgetting that, at the end of the day, we are only human after all.

--- Aimee ---

The (Very) White House

Since life pre Donald Trump is soon to be no more there is uncertainty in the air for what is yet to come. And the rest of the world is watching America experience the calm before the storm which will destroy America; whether that's due to Trump himself or his loyal supporters.

Unfortunately the future is no longer looking like the altered Utopian presented on our screens with the release of Back to the Future 2 in 1989. Instead the future is looking dark, frightening and bleak; especially so if you are American.

I really fear for the future of humanity when a country so great and wonderful (or so it claims) as America elects a racist who actually believes you can rid of 3 million people because 0.006625% of their religion are extremists and therefore a threat.

In times like this you really do have to ask yourself 'Are there really people out there who believe this?'

One Trump supporter stated that stopping all Muslims entering the country was the correct action to take because 'we can't identify what their attitude is'. Funny, I've never heard anyone talking about kicking white teenage males out of the country because some of them cause mass shootings? Especially shocking when you realise that 94% of terrorist attacks in America since 1980 have been carried out by non-Muslims.

If you have been active on Twitter this past week since Trump got elected then you would have been present with real life scenarios that have surfaced. Muslim women fearing wearing their hijabs in public, women being sexually harassed following Trump's delightful phrase 'grab her by the pussy', people of different ethnicities being told to 'go back home'.

The irony is, most of these people are 'home'. They are American citizens or as American as someone can actually be considering that, excluding the natives, all American's are immigrants but Trump, along with many other 'Americans' seem to ignore this in the same way that they ignore the fact that Trump's wife is also an immigrant and, for a certain period of time, was an illegal one too.

It's disgusting really, how someone can get away with so many racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic and discriminatory comments and still be given power. I'm pretty sure that, if fewer than a handful of those comments had been made by almost anyone else there would be severe consequences. But he's the person the people want I suppose, although which people that is I remain unsure of.

In late October The New York Times released a list of all the people, places and things which Donald Trump had insulted via his Twitter account. That list came to a total of 282. Those 282 things included; journalists, CNN, Forbes, protesters, Germany, Britain, illegal immigrants, Whoopi Goldberg, Samuel L. Jackson, television commercials and Obamacare.

I just want to know how. A) I want to know how it is even possible to insult so many things - surely no one hates the world that much? B) how someone can insult that many things and still have people voting for him.

In a world where the ice caps are melting, animals are losing their homes and sea levels are rising; America have elected a president who believes climate change is a hoax created by the Chinese. So well done America, at least we can give Brexit a back seat for now.

--- Aimee ---

A Post for October

As I led in my bed on September 30th I decided I would spend my October documenting (on my phone as is the modern age) each occasion that I found vaguely interesting. So, hopefully I have actually done something interesting this (coming) month which is worth writing about but, more importantly, worth reading about too.

It was a busy month. Not busy as in forever-doing-something-with-no-time-to-enjoy-yourself because, let's face it, I will always find at least 6 hours a week to watch and re-watch comedy shows on BBC iPlayer (don't lie, the BBC has the best range of comedy shows.)

I went to London (which I wish I visited more) as part of my Travel and Tourism coursework which (thankfully) was not the terrible disaster which I feared it would be and, once we realised that District and Circle tubes weren't the same, it all went fairy smoothly. The day would have likely been considerable less enjoyable had I not got to spend it with Grace who managed to save my sanity with the macaroni cheese topped with jalapeños I stumbled upon in EAT assisting the positive nature of the day.

This trip came following my day out a LEGOLAND (yes, little miss sociable right here) for a friends trip which was a very, very cold day which was not helped by idiotically deciding that the rapids were a great idea. My saving grace that day was definitely my Quorn chicken fajitas which were literally the nicest things I have cooked, ever.

Top tip to anyone planning on going on two consecutive school trips; don't. It is very tiring and there is far too much walking involved.

Aside from London, Grace and I also went for a well earned Nandos (even my Quorn chicken fajita can't beat their veggie burger with garlic bread and medium Peri-Peri sauce) and lovely little shop (although I have no recollection of buying anything but I know it was primarily charity shop shopping) on the last day of term before she ditched me by spending her whole half term in France (cheers babe.)

I had my first insight into university life by visiting Wolverhampton, Canterbury Christ Church, Derby and St Mary's and, my, what an experience it was. I absolutely loved absorbing the positive atmosphere of places where I may end up in under a years time. Despite the tremendous amount of walking involved, the days were wonderful (with thanks to my parents' ridiculous humour and jokes which honestly made me feel like I had taken my kids on a day out. And, although I am so very excited to start uni next September (providing I don't majorly screw up my A-Levels this year) I can't help but reject the idea that I'm actually ready to move out and become largely independent.

Part of me would love to believe that I am ready, that I will be able to face any challenge given to me and that I really want to start my future but, another part of me is insistent that I'm still secretly an 8 year old who likes baking cakes and stroking dogs which, to be honest, I still do. The worst part is that the excitement I have for university now will drag on a whole 10 months until I actually get to go and experience university life.

I watched Trainspotting for the first time also which, although it was very heavy and highly confusing, was a brilliant film (but now I'm sad that I won't 18 by the time the second one comes out in January because the trailer looks AMAZING.) If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it although you probably shouldn't if you are very strongly against drug use because that is pretty much 97% of the film.

Half term also happened which meant three things; a) reading and essay writing, b) a chance to see Jack and c) a spontaneous shopping trip (and who doesn't love one of those?) I really did mean to watch more films that I hadn't seen before (which I probably should've done considering I borrowed about 8 from my neighbour at the beginning of half term) but it just didn't happen. I did finally get round to starting George Orwell's 1984 which I have been meaning to do for literally months and, so far, its everything I hoped it would be and more (no spoilers please I've started it but haven't got much further than that.)

One of the highlights of the month was definitely travelling to Southampton to visit Jack (twice) even if the first train journey was one of the most stressful and busy journeys in my life. But the travelling was very much worth it especially with the warm welcome I received from Jack's flatmates. The three day stay I had, assisted by a cute cinema date to The Girl On The Train (which was amazing despite it's 44% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it's lack of similarity to the book at points) was pure bliss even if I did have to watch The Apprentice.

I also got tickets to see All Time Low which I am super excited about but it was the most stressful half hour of my life. I have decided that I do not like ordering tickets as soon as they go on sale because websites are crap and stress levels are high but I guess it's just something I'll get used to and, hopefully, more comfortable with.

Less exciting things also happened like work and netball which I figured I'd give a mention anyway just so it seems that there are other things I do besides from watching TV and visiting people and places. And I did see various people also such as my dads friend who visited for a few days and some family friends who cooked a lovely roast and providing an evening full of happiness

Near the end of the month I managed to actually make some new friends (I know, who'd have thought) on a lovely evening with those whom I already adore. It was so nice to feel comfortable around new people and actually be told such nice things about myself which really gave me some confidence which I have needed recently. It was only a small thing but it made me sure o the fact that, around the right people, I really will be loved and cherished.

I'll admit, looking back at it now it was a more exciting month than I thought it would be but I am glad it was as action-packed as it was because, on the whole, it was a really good month.

--- Aimee ---